Thread: Truth or Dare....

Ok, this week's poll is totally anonymous and totally just for fun. Tell the truth now, everyone! Have you ever pretended to be a faith-based homeschooler in order to "fit in" ???

Oh, and if you DO vote honestly, then I DARE you to share your story!

My religious views are known to the other homeschoolers I know in the world of flesh and blood (most of whom are faith-based, though I know a few secular homeschoolers too), but I've made no secret that I am looking for more secular materials and curriculum. Of course, it's reasonably easy for me, since I'm really a recluse and am not involved actively in any home schooling groups at all, and the faith based home schoolers I do know and I have already developed a mutual respect since we work together (in my non-home education job). I'm much more sociable on line than in real life...

I won't pretend, and couldn't if I wanted to. All of my work is published under my real name. Sooner or later, people might see my name associated with the magazines for which I write, and scream "IMPOSTER!" Ha ha. I am as "out" as they come in Paganism, and therefore secular homeschooling.

But I'm nice to everybody! My kindness and friendliness are genuine. The only fellow military spouse here who is my friend is a conservative Christian homeschooling her 5 children. Of all the Christian homeschooling families here, she is the only one who does not shy away from me. She knows what I am. That makes her friendship extra special.

I wasn't sure where I should say "when hell..." or "other". I chose "other" because I wouldn't pretend to be a believer but also I don't make a huge deal of being an atheist. I wouldn't join a group specifically for believers just to get socialization and/or support though. But if a group isn't explicitely secular, then I don't mention it.

I chose "When in Rome" because I'm involved with a local Catholic homeschooling group, 20 members strong, and so far all are delightful people. I knew I was in the right place when I walked up to a group of women dressed exactly like me and they pointed out their boys, who were busily chasing each other around the playground with hand-carved guns. Zack was taken into the group, given a crossbow and was named Commander. I stood around with the moms and chatted and not once did anyone say "Praise Jesus" or make any mention of religion at all except to disparage Evangelical homeschoolers. I didn't think a general announcement about my intention to use secular homeschooling materials was appropriate, especially since no one in the group seemed to care. As I get to know everyone better, maybe I'll share it with them, maybe not. We talked about nearly everything except homeschooling and that was refreshing.

I chose other.
When I am with a group of homeschoolers who are not of a like mind spiritually as myself, I choose not to make waves. I don't pretend to be one of them and I will tell them about my curriculum choice. I try to be as respectful as I can of their choices without compromising my values and choices for my family.

I do think that I could fit in very easily with a group of Catholics....I have not been around any Catholic homeschoolers at all here. I was raised Catholic and could fit in very easily with them.

I chose "other" too. I don't make a point of my religious position within the group, but I don't try to hide it either. I live in a relatively small town and I am new to the local HS group. I have not explicitly stated my position on the topic. however, they have probably noticed that they haven't seen me at the church they all seem to attend and when asked what curriculum I'm planning to follow I let them know I'm going with the government curriculum that is taught in the schools.

Now the predicament, I have been receiving e-mails from a particular group member that I find highly offensive (pressing her beliefs upon me) and I'm still trying to figure out a way to let her know that I'm not interested in receiving her e-mails in a way that does not ostracize me from the group. Notwithstanding this one difference between me and all of them, this is the first time I've been in a group where the people don't judge me or look at me sideways because I want to HS my kids. I have felt very comfortable at the meetings I have attended and religion really hasn't been brought up. I don't want to bring this issue to their attention and risk losing my comfort level with them, but I can't let it continue because everytime I get one of her e-mails it makes me so angry...any ideas or words of wisdom from people who are more like minded?

Don't ask. Don't tell.
But, really, it's never been an issue at all in any of the groups I have spent time in.

I am Christian but I come from a family that values eccentricity and being well-read and self-educated. When I first started homeschooling, I kept a low profile and went along with the crowd. I tried various faith-based curriculum but it never felt right. It was too preachy and didn't talk about the God I knew (good and loving). I never did feel included even when I was sitting on the board of the exculsive homeschooling group. I felt like an imposter because I had different ideas and experiences. I didn't do first time obedience and bibilical discipline. I let my kids be kids and I talked to them. I also used Waldorf and eveyone knows what Mary Pride had to say about Oak Meadow what would she say about something like that?

When my bf moved to town, she freed me to be myself. I quit that group, we started our own. Most of our members are Christian but they use a lot of secular materials, unschool, do their own thing and I am finally out of the closet with my use of Waldorf (which works very well for us).

I would never pretend to be religious and put on any kind of act or say things that aren't true to fit in. What is more likely is that someone will make the assumption that I share their religious views. When that happens, whether or not I clarify that we are not religious depends on the situation and my relationship to the person. If it is a person or group I hope to have any sort of ongoing friendship with, and religion seems to be important or a big factor, then I will want to find a way to out myself pretty early on. I do not want to get involved with a friend or group who might exclude my kids later on after the shock of finding out that we are not religious.