View Poll Results: How supportive is your spouse/partner of your decision to homeschool?

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  • It was a totally mutual decision. We are both completely on board.

    41 56.94%
  • My spouse/partner wasn't sure at first, but has definitely come around.

    26 36.11%
  • My spouse/partner is somewhat supportive.

    3 4.17%
  • My spouse/partner is not supportive at all of my decision to homeschool.

    2 2.78%
  • Single. Question does not apply.

    0 0%
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  1. #1
    Site Admin Arrived Topsy's Avatar
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    Question Weekly Poll: How supportive is your spouse/partner of your decision to homeschool?

    So I was talking this week with a lady who is new to homeschooling this year, and is already planning on putting her son and daughter back in public school next year because her husband is so unsupportive of the whole homeschooling idea. He comes from a country where it is supposedly illegal to homeschool, and the concept of home education is truly foreign to him. So it got me curious about others out there...just how much support (if any) do you receive from your significant other?

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  2. #2
    Senior Member Evolved ginnyjf's Avatar
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    I voted for "wasn't sure at first," because that describes our situation exactly. I've talked about homeschooling from the very start, but Russ wanted to see how Zack would do in school. It's taken three years for him to come around but he's very enthusiastic about it now, especially since he's realized just how much time is wasted in an average school day and how the focus is on athletics rather than academics. He's been working extra hours so I won't have to worry about trying to hold down a job while I homeschool and he's arranged for weekends away for me after we start homeschooling so I'll have some "me" time to recoup and recharge. I couldn't ask for anyone more supportive, even if it did take him a while.

  3. #3
    Snoopy
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    Quote Originally Posted by ginnyjf View Post
    I voted for "wasn't sure at first," because that describes our situation exactly. I've talked about homeschooling from the very start, but Russ wanted to see how Zack would do in school. It's taken three years for him to come around but he's very enthusiastic about it now, especially since he's realized just how much time is wasted in an average school day and how the focus is on athletics rather than academics. He's been working extra hours so I won't have to worry about trying to hold down a job while I homeschool and he's arranged for weekends away for me after we start homeschooling so I'll have some "me" time to recoup and recharge. I couldn't ask for anyone more supportive, even if it did take him a while.
    Cool Ginny, your hubby sounds like a real keeper. He's arranging weekends away for you?! What a pearl!!! I replied that we are completely on board. Greg is my biggest supporter, he absolutely wanted me to homeschool Noah. He is supportive in the way that he doesn't get involved much and lets me do what I want, which I love. But he does ask Noah what's he done every evening and quizzes him on his multiplication facts. He tries to do more "athletic" things with him like taking him to play racquetball or basketball or to a fishing clinic. I guess he wants father/son bonding time, especially since he's gone 10 hours each day. He is also great in the way that he rarely makes comments about the house looking like crap when I don't clean. He just grabs a broom or the vacuum cleaner and does it himself. If only he would scrub the shower once in a while too... and scheduled little outings for me, lol...

  4. #4
    Senior Member Regular CroppinMom's Avatar
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    I went with completely on board too - Dh has always been 110% supportive of the idea of homeschooling. When we first started kicking it around he shared his opinion but ultimately left it up to me since I was the one who would actually be doing the day-to-day work.

    Like Ginny's dh, mine works long hours to make sure that I'm able to work as little as possible to be home and he has no problem with the fact that our house is overrun with women every Friday night for scrapbooking night (otherwise known as Decompression Night) in the schoolroom. Actually, I think he enjoys those nights because there is always yummy snacks everyone brings to share.

    Like Nathalie's dh, mine is also right in there asking follow up questions and wanting to hear all about our day's adventures. It always amazes me to hear what has stuck in Matt's noggin from the day's work. Sometimes it is a lot more than I ever could have hoped for and sometimes it is far less than expected but it is always interesting!

    So to make a long post, short (Too Late!) - DITTO!
    ~Kim~

    Embracing My Chaos one day at a time!

    If you're a homeschooler in or around Hood County, TX then this all inclusive group is for you!

    Homeschooling our 10 year old d/s using Sonlight (secularized), Handwriting Without Tears, Sequential Spelling, Teaching Textbooks, and whatever else strikes our interests.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Arrived JinxieFox's Avatar
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    This was a mutual decision, no question about it. We both have different reasons for homeschooling, and I started thinking about it, researching and planning it before our son was born (heck, before I was pregnant with him!). We are definitely a fortunate family. It sounds like many of you have great spouses too!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Enlightened Firefly_Mom's Avatar
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    I'll be honest - neither of us was totally on board in the beginning! I just knew I couldn't deal with another ps situation like the one that we had just left, and we couldn't afford private school, so that left homeschooling. Did I mention that we knew NO homeschoolers?? All we'd heard were stories about jumper-wearing moms who sat their 15 kids around the kitchen table to do history lessons from the Bible.

    Originally we were going to try things at the new school until Christmas break, and pull him out then if things weren't working. I just couldn't go through with enrolling him, though. I have to give dh tons of credit for never second guessing the decision, and being supportive of my need for alone time every week (I love my Saturday mornings). And our families have both been supportive since the start (at least to our faces - LOL).
    Living, laughing, and learning in the PacNW. Get a glimpse of our lives at www.packofhungrysnails.blogspot.com

    Domestic Goddess and Educational Facilitator for our 15 y/o son, who's homeschooling all the way through high school!

  7. #7
    Junior Member Newbie Jamisina's Avatar
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    My husband was so-so! I made the mistake of NOT planning for ANYTHING, and took my kids out of their new school on base here, the DAY our household goods arrived from the US! I didn't have a thing ready to go-no curriculum-NOTHING!!! Not one of my best ideas!

    At any rate, I plan on homeschooling at least 2 of my 4 boys in the fall. My husband is VERY reluctant now, though it has nothing to do with 'homeschooling' per se. Because of our extremely wet and long winter last year, and ubeknowst to me at the time that I started going through some MAJOR hormonal changes, I put my kids back in school! I thought I was losing it, and unfortunately, started taking it out on the kids-not a nice thing to do. My husband thinks that it might not be a good idea to go through it all again, but now that I know what the problem was-things are much better.

    Sorry for TMI! :-)

  8. #8
    Snoopy
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    Jamisina, you're not alone! This winter has been tough on us too and we're in Florida. It's been longer and colder (and last week wetter) than any winter in recent memory and I'm so glad when we get sunny days (it's a whole 10 degrees colder than it should be this time of year, not that I complain because I like temps in the 70s and low 80s much better than the 90s and up).

    I go through one week a month when suddenly I lose all patience with Noah and sometimes it's not pretty. But what I end up doing is just letting him be more independent during that week and he actually works better when I'm not looking over his shoulder constantly, so it ends up being a welcome break for the both of us, lol. Next year I plan on trying to let him do even more independent work (it sounds almost like an oxymoron, "planning to unplan", lol) but Greg is skeptical of that approach... which is why I'm grateful that he doesn't stick his nose into what we do in how we do it too much because it leaves me a great deal of freedom. I'm the one wanting to share my thoughts with him so he feels involved, otherwise he wouldn't really know what we're doing. Maybe your husband would feel better about it if you shared your plans for next year with him, including how you plan on dealing with the Winter Blues. Believe me, it happens in all families and it happens in p.s. schools too.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
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    My husband was totally opposed to home schooling for a long time. I stayed home when our baby was first born, and often talked of wanting to home school my other son, becuase he was bright but troubled. But i went back to work for a while. I got to the point where I really hated my job, and my husband said it was ok with him if I stayed home until our youngest was in kindergarten (which would be a year and 3 months) - and he told me the only reason he offered was that my son was in a better place at school and i wasnt talking about home schooling him any more.

    HOwever, my teen daughter started having real trouble in high school, and he ok'd me taking her out to finish up at community college. We ended up working with the school district, but she couldnt drive yet, so I had to stay home and drive her to three different schools. That year, my son was having such a rough time in middle school that I had to come pick him up at least once a week, and he started getting detentions and suspensions. Meanwhile, our little one was waking up every morning, even saturday, crying that he didnt want to go back to school.

    finally, my husband said he would not veto me if I decided to home school. however, he was sure i would fail, probably because i would have a nervous breakdown.

    My first day, he called me (we usualy ony email) to check on me. He constantly tells me not to worry so much about the curriculum, and to take a day off when we need it. 3 months in to it, he said it was clearly an improvement for my son.

    He still gets nervous if i talk about home schooling long-term, but I think he'll continue to support me in home schooling as long as I think its the best choice for us. Not that supporting means doing any more chores than he did before or anything like that!
    Last edited by dbmamaz; 04-01-2010 at 09:19 PM.
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  10. #10
    Snoopy
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    Cara, it sounds to me that despite a gruff approach, your husband's heart is in the right place. I think all you can do to assuage his apprehension is to continue what you've been doing and share with him your successes and your research. Men, a lot of times, get nervous about the money aspect. Do you handle the family's finances? Maybe if you showed him how you plan on streamlining expenses, it might put him more at ease? When I got laid off and wanted to stay home, I planned my budget 2 years out on Excel and was able to prove to my husband that yes, we WOULD be able to make it on 1 income. Not only that, but we were able to pay off our debts too (it did help that he got a better paying job shortly after though!). Ever since my husband has realized that his quality of life is better because I'm home and I can take care of a lot of things that we both had to try and split among the 2 of us in the past, and he sees how well Noah is doing in his studies, he hasn't made a peep about me needing to go back to work. And I'm not even a good housekeeper.

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