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Thread: Happy or unhappy?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Evolved
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    I'm having a blast, actually!
    Now, my house is cluttered and my garden is not looking promising and we are (okay, DH and DS are) going to have ramen noodles for dinner (I am three weeks from being done with my job, which has been one night a week), but I am having a good time.
    There is a difference to me between being happy and having perfection. I have found that life goes much better when I
    • ease up on my need for control,
    • continue to plan ahead and be productive,
    • make time for reading books/big ideas,
    • answer the phone when my BFF calls,
    • get some exercise (or at least yard work) in a few days a week, and
    • eat my vegetables.


    I am not sewing right now, not doing much volunteer work, not making Pinterest-worthy dinners very often, but it's not bothering me. DS is starting to read, the laundry gets done, and I'm attending my church's leadership school and blogging about educational theory, though, so it's all good.
    Last edited by quabbin; 04-24-2013 at 02:53 PM.
    Mama of one DS, first grade;
    recovering schoolteacher;
    lifelong bookworm

  2. #32
    Senior Member Arrived farrarwilliams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oceanseve View Post
    Wow, I'm not sure how I'd reply to that I had a girl I grew up with (neighbor) who outright told me she thought I'd been lying about the food I make until I started posting pictures. Do people do that? Do people get online and outright lie about how "great" their life is?
    I was so shocked that I asked the mods to delete it (and the thing I'd written which she had responded to - which wasn't bad, she had just taken it really the wrong way) and they did. I probably wouldn't do that now though - at the time it felt hurtful and weird though. But I hear it on a much lower level a lot - people gripe about how "some people" are way too perfect on blogs or forums or Facebook. We all come to complain or advise or brag... I just never assume anyone is talking to me personally (unless they actually are, you know) or that it's their whole life - whether they're sharing the good things or the bad things.
    Disclaimer: Everything I'm saying is just my own opinion, based on my own experiences teaching and with my own kids and my own life. You should just ignore me if I'm annoying you. I don't mind.

    But if I don't annoy you, feel free to visit my blog:
    http://farrarwilliams.wordpress.com
    Children's Books, Homeschooling and Random Musings...

  3. #33
    Senior Member Arrived Stella M's Avatar
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    Thought about this overnight..

    I don't think I find happy/unhappy a useful measuring stick.

    They are just emotions and like all emotions, come and go.

    The deeper question to me is: am I able to be appreciative of this life in all its imperfections...

    Because if I can, I'm doing OK. And if I can't, there's a problem.

    We shouldn't feel like we have to shove away the sad or the disappointing or the difficult any more than the joyous.
    Oceanseve, MrsLOLcat, Mum and 2 others like this.

  4. #34
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    Since you guys got on the topic of Facebook..I kinda hate it. I didn't even sign myself up. I had an out-of-town guest staying with me and she was 'like, omg, you are not on FB?'. So she went ahead and did it for me. It was fun at first. But now I barely go on there once or twice a year. Everybody's life is just so friggin' awesome.

    I think the next time I log on will be to post a bunch of pics of my bad hair day, disgusting mess of a kitchen, disaster of a master bedroom, etc. So annoying. I love blogs though. Even the ones that look ridiculously perfect. Go figure.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Arrived Accidental Homeschooler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella M View Post
    Thought about this overnight..

    I don't think I find happy/unhappy a useful measuring stick.
    I agree. I can't honestly describe myself as happy. I wouldn't call myself unhappy either. There are plenty of moments of each and sometimes things tip more one way then the other. Lately I have been tipping more unhappy as things just seem harder. But which way they are tipping isn't just about homeschooling either. And we all have our happiness set points I think just based on our own temperaments or personalities.

    But what I do find is that this hsing life is meaningful and that goes for the bad days too. And as long as I find it meaningful I can keep going even though the really tough times.
    Stella M likes this.
    Julie,
    home schooling two dds 16(still waters) and 9(force of nature)

  6. #36
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Im happy We are accidental hsers. After dds experience in ps, I finally talked hubby into it. I always thought I would be a woman with a career! As many of us know, plans dont always go through. I am happy with my life and my family. Ever since I came home, and started working very part time, I have been happier. I have time for my kids and hubby. And I am VERY glad I came home. After all, how many parents can say that their kids trust them enough to discuss having sex? My ds17 did. And I explained the consequences as well. Hopefully dd will do the same. If I worked in the career I chose, I would be working 40-55 hrs a week and I would not know anything my family was up to and ds may not have ever asked me anything and dd would still be in a cruddy school.
    Bobo 10 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 19 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

    umbers cucumbers!!!!

  7. #37
    Senior Member Evolved JenRay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stella M View Post
    Thought about this overnight..

    I don't think I find happy/unhappy a useful measuring stick.

    They are just emotions and like all emotions, come and go.

    The deeper question to me is: am I able to be appreciative of this life in all its imperfections...

    Because if I can, I'm doing OK. And if I can't, there's a problem.

    We shouldn't feel like we have to shove away the sad or the disappointing or the difficult any more than the joyous.
    When I first read this thread, yours was the only response, and you said, "thankful and content." And I had this very thought - that happy or unhappy don't feel like the right choices. Sometimes I am unhappy. Lots of times I am happy. But I am always thankful. Even on the bad days, I am grateful for the opportunity to be at home with my kids and teaching them. I'd love to get paid to do it, or at least for DH to make enough money and vacation time that we could travel more. But life isn't ever perfect. So I am happy if those are my only choices, but incredibly fortunate and grateful would be closer to how I would describe my overall feelings on the topic.

    As to being too positive on FB, I haven't had the experience of being snarked at for that (thankfully). I mostly post the good stuff though. Mostly, because it drives me nuts when people air their dirty laundry and/or b*it*h all the time. It is one thing to seek support, or share bad news. I've certainly done that. But for heaven's sake, have more respect for your spouse than sharing all their faults on FB! Seek a new job if your boss sucks so much! etc.
    JenRay
    Mommy to C1 (DD - 05/07) and C2 (DS - 11/09)
    So far so good!

  8. #38
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    Stella, actually, I am glad you posted what you did.

    I couldn't verbalize what I was trying to ask and just took an easy way out, I guess - asking "happy vs unhappy" instead of asking more deep question. I probably should have asked about "what is your overall feelings about your life as SAHM and as a homeschooler" - that's probably would be more accurrate.

    I have a lot of thoughts and feelings in my head and in my heart that I am trying to reconcile and reading all the negatives just makes me wonder even more - what the heck am I doing. Does it make sense?
    Mum likes this.
    Mom to 3 boys
    DS 6 who sings me the most beautiful songs and tells me amazing stories
    DS 4 a.k.a Monkey whose goffy faces make my heart smile
    DS 3 my little big man

  9. #39
    Mum
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    At the risk of sounding a little nauseatingly zen, my happiness doesn't really have much to do with my choice to homeschool. Some days are great and some days suck big, sweaty balls. Either way, I try to find contentment within.

    Feel free to make gagging motions with your hands.
    Get your geek on.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Arrived dottieanna29's Avatar
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    I was having a hard time with the happy/unhappy too. I am mostly very content with my life. Dh and I have a good relationship, I'm happy that I am able to be home with my younger kids since I didn't get that opportunity with my oldest, since I did the WOHM thing for a long time I know I'm happier being a SAHM. I enjoy homeschooling and I'm comfortable and confident in that choice. There are days when I get cranky and want to hide away, days when I don't want to do anything.
    Dorothy
    Continuing to homeschool after returning to work.
    Mom to:
    Steph - sophomore (?!!) in college
    George - 8/2005
    Vicki - 7/2007
    Dottie's Homeschool Universe

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