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  1. #21
    Site Admin Arrived Topsy's Avatar
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    aselvarial, it's likely I'm at least 1/2 a generation ahead of you, which probably makes a huge difference, too. It's that "get off my lawn" crotchety aging woman syndrome. Because just for me personally, and specifically, the best stuff of my life happened pre-internet. That doesn't mean that I haven't created relationships that I value via the web - - I have - - but my feeling is that had the web not been there, I still would have made deep connections with wonderful humans...they just would have been in closer proximity to me, location-wise. I also value, like-you, the long-distance connections that face-time creates, but I have to admit that I have some handwritten letters from my grandmother that I cherish like life itself. Her shaky handwriting about life's nothings-and-everythings is every bit as precious to me as if I had a video saved of her via the net. It's just that for me, in particular, the web hasn't "improved" my life overall...it has made me more anxious, more frustrated about the state of the world (because if Donny tweets about a bowel movement, it makes the freakin news), and strangely, sometimes leaves me feeling far more lonely after browsing. Disconnecting for big chunks of the day is my sanity life raft. Again though, I'm on the older part of the forum spectrum around here and at least half of my life occurred pre-matrix, so I'm coming from a slightly different perspective.


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  3. #22

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    I see a lot of people from my generation being thankful that they got to be young and make mistakes before social media got big. Of course then I think about how few photos I have, how certain members of my family went out of their way to hide from cameras. Now everyone has cameras, all the time. I have so many photos of my daughter, and different events and people. She's not going to lack for that visual record. There is that downside though that if you make poor decisions there's probably someone there with a camera. It's a definite give and take. I have some wonderful friendships thanks to the internet, but there is also that fear that if you say the wrong thing or if the wrong person from your past finds your information it could put you in danger. I suppose every generation has those gives and takes though.
    Teemie - 11 years old, 6th grade with an ecclectic mix

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  4. #23

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    I'm not sure if it helps or not, Topsy, but I see us as being on the cusp. I can opt out as long as I play dumb. The sales clerks always treat me like a pet when I pull out my talking flip phone for Senior Citizens and say that my kid told me I didn't need any of dem dar facebook app thingummies and that I never quite took to those pocket telephones but I used to have email on my laptop but I brokeded it and Junior is going to ask his father to ask his hairdresser's neighbour's cousin's roommate where I should take it to get fixed as soon as he gets back from eye rack. It's black and has stickers that say "Pentium III" and "designed for Windows 98" on it; is that good?

    Why, thank you so much for explaining it to my dumb ascii, sonny; guess you can't stop progress, eh? My, my, my, what will they come up with next.

    If aselverial tried something like that, not only wouldn't she get excused from giving out personal information to a spammer or any help understanding how to use the self-checkout machines, she'd probably get psychologically and/or physically beaten up!

    Personally, I carry a lot of unproductive guilt about HOW and WHEN I allowed the internet into my family's life (tacky trashy long distance relationship that didn't work out) and forget that realistically WHETHER was never an option. I'd have different associations if I had bought the computer for an online classes or said the dumb things that I'll never live down in the context of a homeschooling forum for new internet users, but maybe the ethical issues of software and privacy would never have come up or would have come up after we were so addicted to social media and gaming that leaving Windows 98 would have been impossible instead of a fond memory.

    I don't envy my grandparents and great-grandparents but I do feel much closer to them than I used to. I'm also able to have more compassion for my parents, who are very much flawed human beings, and to accept the fact that they would have led much happier lives if Roe vs. Wade had happened a decade earlier and I hadn't been born at all without taking any personal offense over a situation that isn't personal at all.

    I wish I could raise my caboose baby in a body that was ten years younger, but ds8 couldn't have been born ten years earlier for cultural as well as medical reasons, so I'm just glad I'm here and he's here and you kids get off my lawn!
    Last edited by IEF; 12-08-2016 at 03:40 PM.
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    homeschooling ds9
    homeschooled dd28 (Grad student, UC Berkeley, Philosophy) and ds25 (Spc. in US Army, deployed, Operation Spartan Shield)

  5. #24
    Senior Member Evolved BakedAk's Avatar
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    I think I share Topsy's nostalgia. I have a similar rueful acceptance of the inevitability of modern connectivity.

    And I wish my kids could ride their bikes all over the neighborhood like my friends and I did, without worrying about meth labs and pedophiles (there may have been pedophiles in my neighborhood growing up, I don't know, but I guarantee there were no meth labs).

    I do envy the past in that there was less stuff.

    Now is, of course, the best possible of times, and not just because it is the ONLY possible time to be living - medicine, technology, civil rights...but there are certainly some bygones that I mourn.
    Melissa

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  6. #25

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    My Dad was a cop for a while when I was growing up, so I tend to see things less through the nostalgic "the world was safer" lens. It wasn't. We just didn't know about it.
    Of course, I hit 18 right when chatrooms were just coming out of the domain of the uber-nerds. When the average internet "trolling" was about ST vs SW.

    My parents and in-laws (my parents are only in their 50's), are all about physical media, but my in-laws lost every single picture from their kids childhoods in a fire, because they kept everything in a single room and nothing was ever scanned in. Granted, friends and family helped out and got copies they had, but most of their childhood pictures are just GONE. Tech on the other hand? His pics (of which there are thousands, literally), are saved on the computer, backed up on an external hard drive, saved on an external server, AND backed up on an SD card that is in a firesafe, AND an SD card in a firesafe at my parents house. There is no way we are losing his pics.

    My mom LOVES getting hand-written letters. I hate trying to decipher the chicken scratch that most ppl consider hand-writing. Even when I send physical mail, I type it.

    BUT, I think it is largely generational. My mom didn't have a smartphone until last year and no one thought it was weird. My husband didn't get a smartphone until 3 years ago, and ppl looked at him like he was a freak.

    Of course, I come at this from the outsider's perspective always. My husband grew up in a small town as a major geek back in the 80's/early 90's before geek was cool. If he was interested in something, odds are, there was MAYBE 1 kid also into it in his age group. I grew up in the city so more geeks were around, but in the highly religious deep south, even questioning your religion in the 90's was trouble. Being an atheist would have been SO much worse. We feel LESS alone because we know (from the internet) that there ARE other secular homeschoolers out there. That we aren't alone in the vast Bible Belt. We keep such vastly different hours than most of the rest of the world, that I follow my new neighborhood online, because most of our awake hours is everyone else's sleep hours. I think it comes down to: if you find somewhere you fit locally, the internet becomes this pesky thing that won't go away. BUT, if you offball enough that you don't dance to the local beat (or even hear the local music), the internet becomes a place where you realize that other ppl like you ARE out there. And sometimes, just knowing they are there, is enough.

  7. #26

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    Ive found the "inevitability of modern connectivity" to be resistable. I dont have a cell phone, or a faceborg account, and my new ipad doesnt have data coverage. I actually leave the house without being connected to the outside world other than my physical presence tooling down the road! Living dangerously, I know!
    I still havent set up my email account on the new ipad, and thw world hasnt ended.
    A&WsMom cleared her email subscriptions, and life didnt end.
    I guess my point is that all this technology doesnt need to be our masters. We dont HAVE to play its game.
    Im optimistic that people will eventually come to their sense and tire of being slave to a digital device in their hands. A slave over nothing importsnt.
    Maybe TV was the same way? People wasting their lives away staring at the boob tube for hours a day. And generally, people dont do that anymore. TV is on our schedule, when we want it, what we want.

    And yah, IEF, I get looked at like im an imbecile at Target when I cant whip up coupons on my Cartwheel App, because I dont have a phone. I still ask for the discounts, though. And complain when I dont get them.

    Get off my lawn!!!!
    Homeschooling DS11, DS5.

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    My spelling and typing are fine, its my keyboard that doesnt cooperate.

  8. #27
    Site Admin Arrived Topsy's Avatar
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    I creep back, humbly holding my crow-pie in one hand and a giant fork in another, to this post this morning as I just looked at a text my oldest son sent me from work that said "just wanted to tell you I love and appreciate you." Blearily between the mom-tears, I pull out my trusty old keyboard and say largely and loudly...

    SOMETIMES TECHNOLOGY DOESN'T SUCK.

    Oh, and did I mention that in 2009 when I had lost all hope of finding a single other human who homeschooled from a secular perspective, there was this little idea in my brain called "SecularHomeschool.com" and that it literally saved. my. life? I didn't mention that did I? I was too busy looking out the window and daring any little buggers to encroach my sacred green-space.

    GET OFF MY LAWN. Or at least come in and have a freakin cup of coffee with me and entertain me for a few.
    Last edited by Topsy; 12-09-2016 at 10:53 AM.


  9. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Topsy View Post
    Oh, and did I mention that in 2009 when I had lost all hope of finding a single other human who homeschooled from a secular perspective, there was this little idea in my brain called "SecularHomeschool.com" and that it literally saved. my. life? I didn't mention that did I? I was too busy looking out the window and daring any little buggers to encroach my sacred green-space.
    And I am so glad that you did! (Says another member who has been here since the beginning.) While I eventually found some secular homeschoolers locally, this site was a lifeline for me.
    Carol

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  10. #29
    Senior Member Arrived TFZ's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, I didn't even think of the bomb shelters. Can't imagine being a child doing bomb drills while people built shelters in their back yards. Yikes.
    Finishing up kindergarten with my oldest and two little ones always underfoot. Kindergarten was awesome. We used Build Your Library and an eclectic mix for math. Everything else was child led.

  11. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by TFZ View Post
    Oh yeah, I didn't even think of the bomb shelters. Can't imagine being a child doing bomb drills while people built shelters in their back yards. Yikes.
    I was never afraid of dying, only of living. Was it some Twilight Zone episode I wasn't supposed to be watching or just my own warped imagination that gave me nightmares about being the only surviving member of the human race stuck in a bomb shelter somewhere slowly waiting to die of old age?

    Yea, that stayed with me for a long, long time and my kids just roll their eyes like it was no big deal.

    I also remember of phase of thinking that every airplane I ever heard might be getting ready to drop The Big One on my cute little upper middle class Suburban country club neighbourhood.

    Nope, you can't imagine it and I can't write about it well enough for you to understand why I never said, "when I grow up" and always said "if I grow up" even though I never actually thought I would.

    It's still hard to believe I did sometimes, much less that I'm growing old.

    You kids get off my lawn. You too, Topsy; somehow I got confused and thought you were older than you actually are.
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    homeschooling ds9
    homeschooled dd28 (Grad student, UC Berkeley, Philosophy) and ds25 (Spc. in US Army, deployed, Operation Spartan Shield)

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