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  1. #11
    Senior Member Evolved Deli76's Avatar
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    Im on the fence. Past generations really couldnt be who they are. They hid behind a lot of doors. However, they didnt have as much to worry about. Dd was reading an article on how people in insane asylums (sp?) in the 50s had the same amount of anxiety that the people out and about in society have today.
    Bobo 13 yrs old - marches to the beat of her own drum, driven, out going and loud, yet she loves nature
    Booger Boy 21 yrs old - quiet, self assured, confident and laying his own path

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  3. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deli76 View Post
    Im on the fence. Past generations really couldnt be who they are. They hid behind a lot of doors. However, they didnt have as much to worry about. Dd was reading an article on how people in insane asylums (sp?) in the 50s had the same amount of anxiety that the people out and about in society have today.
    And speaking of insane asylums, there were horrible back then. Treatment for mental health for our and our kids' generations is so much better and more compassionate. My grandmother (among many in my family) suffered from a severe genetic chemical depression. My mother, around age 10 or 12, was allowed to visit her at the "psychiatric hospital" (at which time there were only two in the state) only twice. She said it was terrible, and her mother sometimes came home worse than when she went.

    Again, she was a kid who essentially raised herself. Her mother almost catatonic even when she was home, father working and physically abusive. Yet my mom still did well in school and had a part-time job in high school. My parents married at 18 (mostly to get out of the house) had 8 kids by age 30, and have now been married for 58 years. My dad's upbringing not much better--emotionally cold parents. I don't envy their youth at all. How they managed to be loving, successful and raise successful children is beyond me.

    So again, what it looks from the outside (oh, look, long marriage--great family) sometimes has some dark sides to it. I don't think we can judge any generation.
    Carol

    Homeschooled two kids for 11 years

    Daughter (20), a University of Iowa sophomore triple majoring in English with Creative Writing, Journalism, and Gender, Women's & Sexuality Studies

    Son (19), a Purdue University freshman majoring in Computer Science, minoring in math, geology, and history

  4. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Riceball_Mommy View Post
    I have to wonder when it comes to childhood allergies and things is it because we are seeing a decrease in infant mortality rates? Are some of these kids with allergies and other issues we don't remember being such a big deal because the kids that would have had that would have died before their first birthday? Is it because of the global age we live in where almost everyone has a global platform to be heard and story goes viral so easy, so we have more a constant influx of news? Or is it really simply because there are more allergies because of something we are truly doing wrong?
    I think, to an extent, childhood allergies are up because children that would have died from them, don't now. Tech was born at 33 weeks. WE had significant intervention to even get him that far. Without the current set of medical miracles, Tech would never have made it to viability, much less to 7 years old. And MANY of my friends have kids who have required intervention before they were a year old. Massive heart defects, digestive tracts that literally didn't finish, born before lungs were developed, etc. Not surprisingly, those are the ones with the most allergies. Odds of Tech surviving birth and his first year in 2009? 98%. In 1909, he'd have had less than 10% odds. 1959, his odds would have only been slightly better at around $20%. I can't say I'm at all sad that this is the generation he was born into. So far, it's the one his odds of survival were highest.

  5. #14
    Senior Member Arrived TFZ's Avatar
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    Ugh never! Apart from the rabid feminist in me saying that no one has ever had it better than we do right now - hand washing dishes, no blow dryers, one car to share, hanging clothes on the line, no amazon prime delivery, ONLY CLOTH DIAPERS WITH SAFETY PINS!!!, less choices in produce and baking my own crap (which would be crap), longer hours for dh, and looking at my kids wondering if my daughter would ever have the same opportunities as my sons... dammit, sit down feminist self! Yeah, no. No envy here.

    Also - homeschooling being more and more accepted and increasingly secular now is a reason why I love TODAY. I can't imagine a time when I would have loved the public school system, and without the resources online and the people here we would be stuck in it.

    And omg walking over to the TV to turn the channel? No thanks.
    Life, Laughs, Homeschool, and Planners: SomeRandomLady.com
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  6. #15

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    I'd straight up be dead if I'd lived even a couple of decades earlier. I nearly died twice before I was 8, and have several chronic health issues. I am alive because of modern medicine. I am a functional, healthy person because of daily medications developed since I was born. So even if I'd somehow survived, my quality of life would suck.

    For me, different eras/decades/whatever seem appealing because we know how the stories end. The Civil Rights Movement sounds exciting and the outcomes of it seem so obvious. But if you were living through it? That had to be scary. And on a practical level, disruptive to your routine.

    I've listened to stories from the elderly and I've studied history, and the comforting thing is: they were all terrified that they were screwing it all up. It seems to be inherent to the human condition.

    All that to say: nostalgia is great, but it is merely a mirage. As Billy Joel said: "The good ol' days weren't always good and tomorrow's not as bad as it seems".

  7. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by crunchynerd View Post
    I have long wondered if anyone else looks at the baby boom parents, and ever envied them the relative ease in which they lived, even as parents?

    Food allergies may have existed, but rarely did any harm and certainly weren't commonplace. There was no such thing as a peanut-free school. Kids drank Tang and ate Twinkies and still weren't fat. Manwich was a meal, and there was always room for Jello. When it came to shopping, kids often waited in the car, or else went to the store with a short list, for their mother, and no one got arrested.
    Actually, food allergies existed since the time of Hippocrates. Many members of my family (and my childhood allergist and his family) who were born from 1900 - 1950 barely survived their childhoods because of their allergies, and were often miserable because of this poorly understood yet very dangerous medical issue. It wasn't rare, actually, and it did cause quite a lot of harm. Just because people didn't have "anaphylaxis" on their tombstones didn't mean people didn't die of everything from insect stings to food allergies. Medicine just wasn't so advanced. Even today, health care professionals don't always recognize what an impact food allergies have on the lives of their patients.

    I am in my late 30s. My first brush with death was anaphylaxis at 2 years old. I experienced nothing but bullying and death threats in school. Kids in my class would deliberately try to sneak peanuts into my lunchbox. No one took this seriously. Teachers would treat me like I was the troublemaker while other kids lied, stole, cheated, or fought with each other. My Epi-Pens were locked up like weapons while kids threatened me they'd hold me down and shove peanuts into my mouth. My experiences were echoed by many of the other children seen by my childhood allergist. Child after child was threatened, dismissed, bullied, and denied proper medical care even when they were violently ill.

    I'm sorry that peanut free schools seem to be such a hot-button issue to parents these days, but when it's you who suffered every day with the crushing message that all the adults and children around you value their PBJs over your very life, you see how they are a necessary bulwark against such ableist and dehumanizing messages. Those carefree, simple times were really only carefree and simple for some people--many others would just as soon leave those times to the dustbin of history.

  8. #17

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    Sorry I came across the wrong way: I know there is good reason that there are peanut-free schools, and I don't criticize it. I also know that there were food allergies before (my mother had food allergies as a kid, for instance, and so did my husband's grandfather) but like childhood diabetes, asthma, and other immune problems, the prevalence has shot up dramatically quite recently, and I can't believe it's only due to better detection.

    I guess I was feeling sorry for myself, an odious thing in anyone.

    But I do recognize that there was diabetes in the days of the ancient Greeks, and that food allergies have been around for a while. The prevalence has increased so dramatically in such a short period of time, it's depressing and frightening, though. Some people think gluten-free is some sort of fad...who knows, maybe there are people who think it is fashionable and do it out of choice, but it is hard to wrap my head around anyone routinely going without things like bread, and having instead to seek out the much more expensive GF alternatives, just for fun.

    I never had food allergies before, but started getting a few food reactions in my latter 30s and early 40s.

    My daughter was the only one in her preschool with food allergies, but when her little brother went, a few years later, there were several other kids, and one of them was anaphylactic to dairy, such that he could react if he touched a table someone had set a cube of cheese on previously and then didn't wash it.

    And you have my sympathy for people who don't share the burden, viewing you with suspicion, as if you'd just make it all up to inconvenience them: we got a lot of that at family events, homeschool groups, anything centered around food (which is just about everything social). We were seen as the troublemaker parents, with all these farfetched and imagined food allergies in our kids. We finally stopped going to anything, because explaining it all to someone who looks increasingly dubious, stinks.

    Autism, food allergies, ulcerative colitis, juvenile diabetes are all things that have been on a meteoric rise in prevalence, and no one knows why. It stinks.
    Yes, debilitating and even deadly illnesses have always been there, but every house on my block with a boy child in it, has a boy child with autism-spectrum disorders.
    Those are also really hard to hide behind "lack of detection" even if you could make the claim that mild forms went undetected. The less-mild forms are impossible to miss, and the prevalence seen today in some places, couldn't have passed unsuspected.

    If you thought I was making fun or making light, I apologize. It just really, really stinks that so many problems with the gut, the immune system, and the brain, are affecting so many people so severely, these days, and we don't even have a good enough understanding of it, to try to reverse or reduce it. All we can do is cope the best we can, and try not to think what happens if the trend goes unchecked.

    The rise of eosinophilic esophagitis, a disease unknown 20 years ago, has prompted Boston Children's Hospital to have a wing for it, now. Kids that have to be tube-fed due to a previously unknown immune reaction to food, that affects the esophagus directly and can lead to narrowing or even closing off entirely. Those families have it far worse than mine does.

    Anyway, I shouldn't have allowed myself to indulge in moaning and groaning about what our lot is these days. We do have it better in numerous ways: for instance, women (at least where I live, and I hope in all places) no longer get routinely steered by the upper arm, by men. I saw that in some old 50's and 60's shows along with some other forms of deeply insulting and patronizing treatment, and was shocked that that was my mother's normal, then.

    We also don't have to die of many things that back then, meant a miserable end...these days, the prognosis for many things is much better.

    But I can't help but wonder how long the simple replacement of peanut butter sandwiches on the school menu, with sunbutter, is going to be okay. There are plenty of people allergic to sunflower seeds, though I guess the anaphylactic reaction to them is still much rarer than to peanut.

    It just stinks, is all, and it has gotten worse. But everyone knows that, so why did I rant? I was stressed and should have just had a brandy.
    40-something mom of 4 kids who haven't been to school, taking it one year and one day at a time.

  9. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by TFZ View Post
    Ugh never! Apart from the rabid feminist in me saying that no one has ever had it better than we do right now - hand washing dishes, no blow dryers, one car to share, hanging clothes on the line, no amazon prime delivery, ONLY CLOTH DIAPERS WITH SAFETY PINS!!!, less choices in produce and baking my own crap (which would be crap), longer hours for dh, and looking at my kids wondering if my daughter would ever have the same opportunities as my sons... dammit, sit down feminist self! Yeah, no. No envy here.

    Also - homeschooling being more and more accepted and increasingly secular now is a reason why I love TODAY. I can't imagine a time when I would have loved the public school system, and without the resources online and the people here we would be stuck in it.

    And omg walking over to the TV to turn the channel? No thanks.
    haha liked your rebuttal, even though I liked cloth diapers, hanging clothes on the line was something I enjoyed on purpose even though I had an electric clothes dryer....til I had 4 kids and 2 were into the meaty homeschooling stuff...now I rarely use the line, but it comes in handy for huge comforters, etc.

    On the treatment of women, now wins! Except unless a woman wants her choice to stay home with the kids respected...but that has also come along after the pendulum swung too far the other way, so that's pretty much okay.

    No, you're right overall.... I think we do have it better in most measurable ways.
    I think my problem was the massive degree of uncertainty in everyday life, these days. It's crazy-making.

    But then, even that viewpoint only cherry-picks the halcyon moment of time in which my mother grew up ... the Charlie Brown era, being a kid in the 1950s, coming of age in the 1960s.

    BEcause looking at it more critically, my grandmother was a little girl when WWI broke out, was a young woman when the Great Depression hit, and was in her 30s during WWII. I guess she knew more uncertainty than I can fathom. Who can fault that generation for being so happy to embrace peace, stability, and prosperity, and wanting to shower their children with the gifts of that, in the postwar 20th Century?

    Anyway, uncertainty never stayed stoppered for long. Korea, Vietnam, the Civil Rights movement and its hardwon victories and terrible losses. Coldwar paranoia and McCarthyism: all that came hard on the heels of that golden moment in which my mother grew up.

    Maybe future generations will look on now as The Good Ol' Days too. After all, we now have social media, in which to project only the shiny aspects of our lives. Maybe the advent of television during my mother's childhood made things seem nicer than they were, in the same way: ideal families in ideal homes, living ideal lives? Happy Days was a show based on nostalgia for an era in which things weren't certainly so picturesque for most people.

    Thanks, everybody, for sharing honest and divergent viewpoints on this as well as other things. This forum fills a void for that kind of discourse in real life.
    40-something mom of 4 kids who haven't been to school, taking it one year and one day at a time.

  10. #19
    Site Admin Arrived Topsy's Avatar
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    So this is a weird response, I know, but I envy my OWN generation. But I envy it for my kids and all future kids. I envy the pre-internet simplicity of life. Disconnectedness from the matrix. Playing outside without wondering if there is something more exciting happening on my device. Having only a few news sources instead of a barrage of choose-your-own-flavor-post-truth-news. Savoring meaningful relationships with several close friends instead of settling for 165 acquaintances that will "like" what I had for dinner or agree to disagree with me on politics. Talking into the wee hours of the night with a significant other about nothing and everything instead of browsing YouTube.

    I miss my life before the internet. Like REALLY miss it sometimes. And it's the height of hypocrisy to even share those thoughts here on an internet forum, I fully realize, but whatcha gonna do? Here we are.
    Topsy
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  11. #20

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    Topsy, I feel too much like I wasn't a part of my generation. I'm stuck between generation X and the millenials, and was sequestered away in religious hades for most of my childhood, so I don't feel like I even KNOW my generation. Things that were common pop culture references like the Simpsons, Animaniacs, or common music groups, I didn't even discover until I had moved out on my own. Yes, we played a lot, but with the constant thought that everyone we met that wasn't part of our church or similar ones were evil ppl going to hell.
    I met my husband over 17 years ago in a chatroom. My son's godparents are from that same chatroom. Mine and my husband's closest friends are ppl who live nowhere near us but that we keep up with constantly online. Tech was the only grandchild for 6 years and my in-laws live 1000 miles away and yet they felt a part of his life through pictures that they could see within minutes of things happening. My sis has her 1 year old "facetime" my parents, who live 4 states away.
    And that's not even to mention that Tech does most of his schooling thanks to the internet. Youtube, Netflix, apps, games, PBS streaming, Amazon documentaries, "How's It Made", and so on. I can get news from Reuters instead of "faux news" or Al Jazeera instead of CNN. I LOVE that the world is more connected and smaller than ever.

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