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  1. #1

    Default "Would she be happier, in school?"

    So, it's an absolutely gorgeous day, perfect summer weather in fact, and we stopped by the house of the little old lady who speaks French more easily than English, whose grown son still gathers wild fiddleheads to sell by the pound from the icy cooler in the driveway. Seeing my kids, she asks "Not in school?" and I say "no, no school."
    "Don't go to school?"
    -"No." *smile*
    "Would she be happier in school?"

    Here I had to suppress a chortle. Sweet little old lady. I didn't blame her for her viewpoint or anything.

    "No, I don't think so....honey, do think you'd be happier if you were in school?"
    My daughter said no, and left it at that.
    I was tempted to ask the little old lady if, when she went to school, kids were upset when summer came and they didn't have to go, because they'd have been happier in school, than out. But I didn't.

    I normally don't explain myself, but in this case, thought it would be a nice thing, so the old lady wouldn't think my poor daughter was living in the closet. So I told her about the kids' extracurricular activities, and left with a smile.
    It was actually a pretty nice encounter. I was surprised to see that I didn't feel defensive, and it didn't mar the day at all. She didn't seem like she was trying to jump all over me, either...maybe it was just too nice a day to get worked up over trifles, or maybe I am maturing.

    But that's kind of cool, that that could happen, and I didn't even feel anything negative about it. Possibly if she had sneered or something, but no, it was just a pleasant exchange about something that surprised her expectations.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Arrived dbmamaz's Avatar
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    Jun 2009
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    there are a lot of kids who would rather be in school - i see homeschoolers (but not recently) whose kids are angry that they arent in school, sometimes to the point of refusing to do school. So by itself I dont think its an unfair question. and besides, little old ladies usually have somewhat narrow views of the world but, with luck, have learned not to be judgmental.
    Cara, homeschooling one
    Raven, ds 10, all around intense kid
    Orion, floundering recent graduate
    22 yo dd, not at home
    Inactive blog at longsummer

  4. #3


    My daughter is happier in school But yes, I take your point, it's the default assumption...

  5. #4
    Senior Member Arrived Pefa's Avatar
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    Sep 2010


    Not to be literal, but sometimes yes. A friend's son took himself out of a toxic homeschool situation and enrolled in the crappy local ps when he was 13yo. Made his life infinitely better.

    I love tiny 98yo women whose french is better than their english. I want to be one. Although I may have to move to a foreign country so they can coo over how my english is better than my whatever. And I'm really not ever going to qualify as tiny. But maybe it's an attitude thing.
    4 kids. 2 launched - Fabulous Daughter (FD) and Eldest Son (ES); 2 in the nest - Boy1 (B1) 11/14/98 & Boy Other One (BOO) 12/16/00

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"Would she be happier, in school?"