View Full Version : Weekly Poll: What % of the homeschool decisions do you make?
10-12-2011, 05:40 AM
Another great question from raegan;)This is the full questions that her inquiring mind wanted to know:88_:
"What percentage of homeschool decisions do you make? Do you share the responsibility with a partner/relative/friend? Do you co-teach/facilitate/whatever you call it? Do you like it that way, or would you like to horde/share power more? ...it seems there are several members here who have a shared-family approach, and I feel like almost all of my experience has been mommy-led. But I'm a control freak and kind of think I prefer it that way, lol..."
Now I am with raegan on this one I am a total freak about all things related to homeschooling. Not because I think that hubby couldn't do a great job, just a whole lot LOUDER! But at this point in our homeschooling life, I have pretty much figured out what works and doesn't work for the boys.
So my percentage?? 98% to 2% LOL!!
10-12-2011, 08:20 AM
I voted 100%. Occasionally hubby will read to the kids, or sit in on a science project. But mostly he is at work, when we are working.
10-12-2011, 08:22 AM
We're somewhere between 90% and 100%. I tell DH when I'm spending money and theoretically he could ask me to hold off or not, but it hasn't really happened yet, at least with regards to actual curriculum and supply purchases. I do all the teaching and decisions on what we are using and how it is getting done. That is more because I'm the one home all day and he's at work all day. I have no doubt he could handle it if he was home.
When it comes to outside activities, especially ones that cost money, it's much more likely to be a discussion that may or may not result in signing the kids up. Usually only applies to something that is expensive and a long-term commitment. We are considering martial arts for ds - $169/month (per kid and we have to anticipate dd doing it too at some point) with a minimum 6 month commitment. That is requiring a lot more discussion than homeschool bowling - $14/week for both kids and only a 12 week commitment.
10-12-2011, 08:30 AM
I voted other. I'm the person clearly "in charge" of the homeschooling, but I don't make decisions in a vacuum. Travel, money, and so forth are all shared with dh. Curriculum, topics, amount of work, book choices and so forth are all shared with the kids, who are still too young to direct their own education (at least in my opinion) but who definitely get some say and whose wishes and needs I take into account constantly. Plus, we're part of two small co-ops. In other, the adults all share decision making for topics and so forth, in the other, the kids and the adults share decision making for topics and other things.
On some level, I'm making 100% of the decisions, but on some other level, I feel like I'm the president, signing and vetoing all the decisions everyone else is making.
10-12-2011, 08:42 AM
I put "other". I would say 50/50, but what that means is that the decision-making is part mine and part my kids.
The "I can't do it all" does not apply. I didn't really understand the choices as they related to the question. ie "there are things I don't to teach so I job those out" is not related to "What % of the homeschool decisions do you make?" It doesn't answer it. Sorry, I am dense, so just ignore the babbling woman in the corner....:)
10-12-2011, 09:10 AM
I voted 90%. When we first started homeschooling my husband found Ambleside Online and proposed it as our curriculum. We used it last year but have pretty much ditched it this year. Now I plan out or find the curricula for all subjects except Latin.
My husband lurks on the WTM forums and he was impressed that I had picked so many things that get rave reviews. I told him that my peeps at SHS helped. :)
10-12-2011, 09:31 AM
Hubby reads books to the girls at bedtime, but they are books on my list we've purchased. ;)
10-12-2011, 09:35 AM
I said 100% because mostly the decision is up to me. I do discuss some decisions with him, especially things that will involve him going somewhere or affect our budget. Mostly though it's me deciding then bringing it to him to see if we can make it work, or just for emotional support to follow through.
10-12-2011, 09:42 AM
I voted 90%. I try to involve DH in homeschool decisions, but he is very resistant. He has declared 'curriculum' to be a dirty word. He also keeps finding reasons why we can't spend any money on books or curriculum. It is very frustrating. He is very much in favor of homeschooling, but for some reason he just won't talk about it and he doesn't want to spend money on it.
I said 100%, though my wife does occasionally pipe in with her two cents worth. But I'm the one responsible for our kids' education. She is supportive in principle, but is not usually actively involved in it, though she will help out with specific things.
Big decisions-like whether to homeschool in the first place, and whether to put one or both of the kids back in public/private school-are joint decisions all the way, but specifics on curriculum, etc. are pretty much mine alone.
10-12-2011, 10:21 AM
We look at this like it's my job. It's a job that I WANTED and am passionate about...but it's just sort of my deal. The Huz trusts me with it completely, which in itself is something invaluable to me. But we are definitely compartmentalizers. He does what he does all day, I do what I do all day and then at the end (or when he happens to be home from work), we talk about it and support each other.
Though I like the point Farrar makes about other family life things (budget, time, travel et cetera) affecting the homeschool. That's true.
10-12-2011, 10:22 AM
I put other. I have final say over all decisions, but I don't make them entirely alone. The kids are allowed some say in what they do, what materials they use, and what kind of work is expected. My husband also has say in how much we spend, what it is spent on, and how much direct involvement he has in their education. His opinion matters more on materials for some subjects than mine does, because he knows more about those subjects. We are a team. We each have our roles, but decisions are rarely made without input from each other.
10-12-2011, 10:38 AM
I said "other" -- on broad decision making we're 50/50, like deciding TO homeschool. The day-to-day is 100% on me. DH participates if I ask, will listen to long descriptions of curricula I've found and read developmental psych books I set out, and comes up with projects of his own as "extra curricular". I don't feel like I NEED to ask his permission, but I'm open to his suggestions or opinions, though he rarely offers them unless I ask. I keep him informed about how and what we are doing. He's engaged in this endeavor, but happy to just be an observer.
I guess it's like we're 50/50 and both have a vote, but dh gave me his proxy at the get-go, so I control 100% of the votes. :D
10-12-2011, 10:52 AM
I pretty much do it all. The husband will help out if I need him too and I run major purchases by him but it's pretty much just me me me!
10-12-2011, 10:53 AM
Oh, here we go! LOL I explained this in the other thread, but I basically have 97-98%, so I just selected 100%. Sure, my son's nanny/soon-to-be-stepmom conducts lessons when he's there with her and his dad.
Buuut I have chosen the curriculum, I buy everything every year, and I plan out all the lessons. This includes emailing lesson plans to my ex every week, as well as his fiancee reporting to me on a weekly basis with regard to my son's progress. I pretty much have complete control, even when I'm *not* the one teaching, because I'm still dictating what gets taught.
However, I let my ex, his fiancee, and my husband put in their 1% each. ;)
10-12-2011, 12:06 PM
I voted 90%. I make the majoritiy of the decisions and do most of the purchased curriculum. DH does a quite a bit of the reading and also does quite a bit of farm schooling! He is always teaching about the animals, machinery and building projects!
10-12-2011, 12:26 PM
I said 75/25 because that's about how DS's time is split. Since we Unschool life is what leads what we do, while I probably do more story writing and science experiments with him DH is with them they are always building or cooking things or going climbing. Then there's the one day he's with his Grandma and she's one of those women with the "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's" t-shirts which is fine because even though we are very different I think it is important for them to have their own relationship. On the whole I am the one spending the most time with him but I think that may also mean that I am not as focused on him (like the way I am on he computer at the moment).
"What percentage of homeschool decisions do you make? Do you share the responsibility with a partner/relative/friend? Do you co-teach/facilitate/whatever you call it? Do you like it that way, or would you like to horde/share power more? "
I voted other because I'm not sure exactly how to really break it down.
There is decision making (deciding to homeschool, choosing/buying curriculum, deciding on a schedule, deciding to take the day off, etc) and there is carrying out the day-to-day responsibility (reading to dc, explaining math problems, taking dc on a field trip, music lessons, etc) and I feel those are separate things.
When we decided to use a curriculum dd was 6 or 7 years old. I researched and found a curriculum and showed it to dh. We decided together to use it but I made the effort to go looking, decided what I liked and he agreed with me. Dh and I have discussed what we can budget for homeschool each year but I have to come up with an amount and make it work. I do the research and acquiring of materials. I set the schedule. I do everything with dd. Dh pretty much does not think about dd's education daily and is not very involved. I wouldn't mind a bit more involvement or opinion on his part but know he is very busy elsewhere and homeschooling was my priority.
I can't say I am 100% in control of every decision. Dd certainly makes some of the decisions about homeschooling too. She is part of the process and I want her to have some control of what and how she learns. For example, today she decided she wanted to stop using a certain book and use a different one.
10-12-2011, 05:05 PM
All of them :)
I do the work, I make the decisions.
We did have a conflict over unschooling in the past. This time, I am canny. I just don't mention it.
I didn't think about the kids.
They have a lot of input, to which I pay a lot of attention, even when it is at odds with my own choices. But ultimately, I have control of the decisions, because they are minors.
10-12-2011, 09:06 PM
100%. I talk AT DH when I'm getting ready to purchase curriculum, but he really doesn't listen, and I know that. I am the one who agonizes for hours about what to use, how to use it, when to use it, etc. I am the one who researches, buys, and implements the curriculum. I am the one who sets lesson plans, school hours, field trips, extracurricular activities, and gets everything done. In the past two years (since we've had DS home), DH has 'done school' with him TWICE. One day I was sick as a dog, and the second day I had thrown out my back and was laid up. Both days DH used the lesson plans I had already written. DS is definitely allowed to voice his opinion on whether he likes a curriculum or not, but he rarely hates something I've chosen. Usually if he hates it, I hate it, too, so the point is moot. I don't necessarily relish this role of being 100% in charge of everything, but it is what it is... and soon enough we'll be throwing DD in the mix! Halle-friggin-lujah.
10-12-2011, 09:09 PM
Less than 50%. DD makes most of the decisions. She chose the curriculum (Writing Strands, The Story of Science, History Odyssey, and Math-U-See), I just approved it, and she worked out a schedule for how many lessons she should do each week. It's working well so far.
10-12-2011, 11:53 PM
Last year it would've been 50-50. Now I'm less than that, probably around 30%. And that's all with Hurricane. I didn't really have any input into Tornado's curriculum other than suggesting that he'd probably benefit from being kindergarten in some things and 1st grade in others, which has worked out that way. I'm responsible for some music stuff, Spanish, a bit of language arts here and there, and filling in with some special expertise. But since my wife's work schedule has scaled back this year, it's my job to bring in the majority of the income, so even though I work at home, I don't have as much time for the schooling end of things. But I do keep track of what's going on.
10-13-2011, 07:56 AM
wow most are comparing to what the percentage is between them and their spouse. If that was the case here it would be me 100 and hubby 0. LOL
I chose under 50% but mine is that my children have just as much say as I do on what they learn.
They go with me to pick out the books they are going to be using. They check out the sites and let me know if they like them or not. And they choose what books to check out of the library each week.
10-13-2011, 09:59 AM
I don't do it all, we work together on things and all decisions are made as a group (including my mom who I'm lucky to have living with us). That way everyone gets the fun or working with my son, and also everyone gets a break. Also sometimes I think it's helpful if the kiddo is not understanding something, to have someone else present it. Sometimes the same info just in a different explanation can cause a total breakthrough!
10-13-2011, 10:09 AM
My kids are very involved in decisions regarding homescholing, especially my older son, so I voted 50/50. :)
Other. As far as curriculum and purchases go, I decide what we're using about 90% of the time, with input from a financial standpoint from DH. The other 10% is random stuff DH finds and brings home. As far as teaching goes, they get different things from different people, and it isn't an official division or a matter of "jobbing out". I probably do about 75% of the formal academic stuff, but the stuff I'm not doing is not a matter of throwing up my hands and sending them out to a co-op because I'm not up to it - it's just how it works out within our household.
We share about 50/50 between dh and I. He's super duper involved and will do lessons with the kids on his days off and lots of other things. Though I do have to say we are both slacking recently, me because I am just getting over being sick and he because of his crazy work/school schedule. I could not do this without his help.
I do agree my dd does have a voice and therefore a certain percent I guess.
10-18-2011, 05:02 PM
Not quite 100% but so close that that's what I answered. DH has started picking up a few things that he is interested in teaching the kids. Things I would never think to do like knot tying and rocketry which is PERFECT. I didn't consider the kids either when answering. I'm happy to let them pick things they want to learn about but so far I don't get much input from either at least when it comes to what I consider part of "homeschool."
He doesn't want to know anything about it although he is very supportive. Secretly I think he figures that if he knew more details about what we do I'd ask him to step in for me.
10-18-2011, 06:52 PM
I said 100% because my husband has no interest in helping. He's all for homeschooling most days but his main role is to ask DD once in awhile if she's finished her school work. If I asked him right now what we were working on he probably wouldn't have a clue. He'd just say 7th grade.
If he were in charge of handling homeschool stuff she'd be an expert at video games and making grill cheese sandwiches.
It's very frustrating.
10-18-2011, 07:03 PM
100% not really by my choice but my husband starts to get fidgety just listening to me listing all the options. Sigh. When the kids get older, he's going to be more involved since he still actively uses things like trig every single day, and I don't.
curriculum purchases ~ mine
to homeschool or send to school ~ joint (dh & I, but I lead on that a smidgen he is supportive of my opinions)
what we actually do each day ~ joint (kids & I) ...I find it easier to supply them with what they need for child led activities...I do lesson plans for the week and try to accomplish all of my plans by the end of the week, but if they are roll'n with something great, my plans can be put aside for a while. On "catch up" day they just "gett-ur-done" and amazingly they do all those horrid worksheets without a hitch, but as long as it's been a while inbetween catch up days. :)
TRUTH is I'm fly'n the plane, but on occasion I like to put it on auto pilot and take a break. :) I like to "think" my kids are child-led in their education, but I'm pretty sure I direct a lot...passively (strewing, etc) I always respect my hubby's opinons on homeschooling...we discuss a lot...but ultimately he's comfy with supporting my opinions so far in all cases. I think he would like to be more 'school at home' then I am and I'd rather get closer to 'unschooling' but we settle in the relaxed schooling realm...and he trusts I've done my research...probably because I fool him with loads and loads of books on my nightstand...hee, hee...
11-11-2011, 11:12 AM
100%--Me. All three of us have ADD or ADHD or a combo. DH doesn't make decisions fast about anything except mechanical/building things....and even those can be drawn out. Thats cool. I have the credit card (Thank God). I know what DD needs for school and I buy it when I need it to teach. He doesn't say too much...............Its a good thing he has a good job..............
He was not on board when I pulled DD out of ps, at least not 100%, and had many reservations in the beginning. He has since come around more and will now (on occasion) help teach DD.
11-11-2011, 08:41 PM
Me. It's all me. Just me ;)
I'm the one who decides what we are going to teach when, if we need to backtrack, if things aren't going so well. I bounce stuff off dh occasionally if I need another opinion, but I am really the one who decides.
Which makes sense... since I'm the one teaching the kids. I'm the one who said dd needed to be pulled or she wouldn't learn to read or do math. We both agreed to that, but I decided enough was enough for ds and pulled him without dh being completely on board (well, he said he was but It's only because I harassed him until he did).
Dh will tell you he'd pull the plug if he thought homeschooling wasn't working.. don't believe him though. What he knows about what we do is in whatever I tell him about and the little bit he overhears. Our kids are much happier, and I think he sees THAT as the measure of success.
I clicked 100% because that's how I roll...and the truth is 99.9% is all me...but when I read a few posts about children led...it made me think...my kids do play a big roll in what direction our day goes...so I'm the final word on homeschooling things, I buy the curriculum I want when I want, I choose if I'm ok with what the kids are wanting vs what I want them to do, etc......I respect the other members of our family and listen to their opinions, etc...but I'm the final answer...if mama aint happy NO ONE is happy.... :)
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