View Full Version : Weekly Poll: Would you, could you homeschool one and not the other?

09-14-2011, 11:47 AM
Would you, could you homeschool one and not the other?

Now, not that either of my boys want to go back to school, ever! Just wondering, there has been talk about how some families only homeschool one or a couple of their kiddos and the other (s) go to regular school. Whether it is because they want too, you need them to go, OR you homeschool up to a certain grade then they go back. I thought that it was a very interesting discussion on how and why families decide to homeschool or not homeschool all their kids.

Personally, I can see my youngest going back in high school. He is so out going and loves to play, play and oh yeah talk to any and everybody! Right now , he says never but you never know what four more years might bring! My oldest, now in 9th grade, is better off at home. He can learn at his own pace, which is VERY fast when it comes to video game design and animal biology/behavior. In other areas, like spelling and math he isn’t as fast at catching those new concepts, so this just works for him!

Tell us what your view on this question is.....

(Written by pandahoneybee!!)

09-14-2011, 12:55 PM
I chose other. When I started homeschooling, I only taught my DD while DS older and DS younger both went to school. The next year, I became very concerned about DS younger's lack of progress at PS. So, we brought him home, too. Now DS older was already starting high school, full to the brim with teen angst and I-have-a-wicked-stepmother blues. We left him in PS for everyone's sanity.

ETA: Going back to public school is not an option for my younger two. I have developed a rather strong dislike for PS these last couple of years and I won't subject my kids to that. DS older could choose to homeschool any time he wants but given that he's a junior this year, I think that's highly unlikely.

09-14-2011, 12:59 PM
Well, seeing as I am currently one of those folks who does have both... ;) It is something we talk about every year, though. Right now DS has no intentions of returning to school at any point in the foreseeable future, and honestly I can imagine him being at home until he's able to start college. At some point he'll have to start taking math and/or science classes elsewhere, but it wouldn't be full-time enrollment in school. DD goes back and forth. Most days she enjoys being at school and seeing her friends, and she loves going to reading/spelling in a different classroom (they've advanced her in those subjects, which I like because it means she's being challenged), but sometimes she just wants to come home so she can be challenged in other ways or do things like 10 pages of math and absolutely nothing else for a day or two. We'll see. The day she has a full-on rage at school, the dynamic changes and I'd be more likely to yank her, so I'm kind of waiting for that particular shoe to drop.

09-14-2011, 12:59 PM
I chose other because I have one that is in public school and has always been in school. We decided to homeschool because of specific quirks and needs of my son. By that point my oldest was already in high school, has always done well in school, has no desire to homeschool at all and I'd have a court battle with her dad if I tried.

For my younger two that I am homeschooling, we plan to homeschool at least until high school. If we are still in our current school district, we will give them the option of homeschooling, doing some college classes at community college and/or attending the local high school. We have no plans to put them back in school before high school and will not give them the option before then, unless something truly radical happens.

Lots O' Boys
09-14-2011, 01:05 PM
We have all of them at home now, but every year we ask them what they'd like to do. So far none of them shows any interest in going, and the oldest is adamant that he will not return (we pulled him in the beginning of 2nd). I'm not sure what the high school years will be like, but it's always an option for them.

09-14-2011, 01:16 PM
As my children's parent, I am responsible for making sure they get the best education. In my opinion, that can only be done at home. I homeschool for the long haul. Now when the kids have graduated from my homeschool, they may to to PS. But in Texas they won't allow their credits to transfer, so it is only a social thing. I did have one child, do his senior year at a local PS. I insist mine graduate at 17, in the state of Texas they are at the legal age of consent then so they can do as they will. I require they finish school with me, while I am still in control. I know mean mom !

09-14-2011, 01:31 PM
Everyone's situation and philosophy's different, so only speaking for US....

Homeschool is all kids for all grades. They don't get a vote (although they'd cry if I told them they had to go to school, lol). Until their frontal lobe is developed enough to understand life consequences (19-21 yo, btw) *OR* they exert a legal right (18yo) it's our call and our responsibility. Mind you, we believe in giving our kids as much responsibility as they can handle since we aren't raising children but future adults. But basic life altering decisions like school setting is our choice.

In our situation, I can't see hs some and not others to cause anything but strife. Our kids are very close and get along amazingly well. I think different school settings would create jealousies and separation. If you send one to ps you are inviting that whole world into your home, and it's just not worth it to us. If there was something in the ps world one child would benefit from we would find an alternate hs-friendly option.

Again, that's just us and our situation. Everyone has to make the best decision for their family and I won't presume to know what's best for anyone else.

09-14-2011, 04:22 PM
Hmm, as time has passed, I have shifted somewhat on this. At first, I pulled ds9 out and hs'd him out of necessity. It went SO well, that I asked ds6 if he wanted to come home, too. He did. I told them that we will take it year-by-year. It is a lie. After seeing my older change before my very eyes, I couldn't WAIT to get #2 home with me. I manipulated and spoke so sweetly about hsing....younger didn't have a chance (lol). :) I have no intention of EVER sending them back. I don't mention it to ANYONE, though. Only my secret club (you guys). heehee :_(A):


09-14-2011, 04:50 PM
When I started this journey, we decided it was for my oldest son only and ONLY through 6th grade to get him up to par for 7th grade standard and insert him back into public school. Well, that was at least what I said to DH!LOL
My plan was for him NEVER to go back or at least homeschool through middle school.
Then 3 months after we started homeschooling him, his younger brother was having issues and we pulled him.
Even then, the plan was JUST until middle school was done and they would go to high school in public school.
Well, while they are soared in their learning....the public schools around here have gone downhill faster than you can imagine and there is NO WAY we would send them back to public school at this point.
Every Summer, I sit them down and ask each one of them whether they want to go to public school or not. They have the choice and we as parents will decide based on their decision but it is not set in stone. So far, there has been no hesitation. They want to stay home and do school! YEAH
But, if one wanted to go back to public school and one didn't... I would be fine with that. I would be worried for the son that was at PS but I would be ok.
I think it would be a culture shock, despite that they were in PS through 5th grade. Oldest son is now a 9th grader and has been in a PS since the first 5 weeks of his 6th grade year and younger son hasnt been in middle school at ALL so the changing of classes, the lots of people, etc. I think would get to him.

Stella M
09-14-2011, 05:37 PM
I'll find out next year :(

Accidental Homeschooler
09-14-2011, 05:45 PM
Well, we pulled our dd6 out of kindergarten and her older sister was still in ps in 7th grade and it did cause a lot of resentment/jealously. DD13 was also unhappy in ps, just willing to behave herself anyway, unlike her little sister. So we gave dd13 the option to hs and she took it and so now we have both at home. Maybe its just because I am indecisive but I am not able to say we will always hs or that they will go back to ps on such and such a date. I like that we can take it year by year and even combine ps and hs if we want to. With my younger daughter hsing was totally a parental decision. We talked it over, made the decision, and informed her one day after school that she would not be going back. She gave me a huge hug when I told her. With my older dd we gave her the option and she made the choice.

09-14-2011, 05:52 PM
this is our first year so who knows how it will change with time. I voted other because we hs DD5 and put DD3 in a private preschool for three days a week. DD3 loves to go and loves to also be at home. I feel guilty not keeping DD3 home with us but feel better when she just lights up at school! Plus, hs goes much better for the older when middle isn't distracting us from the core subjects. DS7 months is a sidekick for now. As the ages change, so will the dynamics. We'll take it year by year.

09-14-2011, 06:01 PM
My 13 yo stepson goes to PS. Our 9 yo is homeschooled. Our toddler will most likely go to Montessori school. If my stepson wanted to homeschool we would definitely let him, but we'd never force him to do it.

09-14-2011, 08:24 PM
At this point, we'd have to move or pay for private school to avoid our local public where there's no way in Hades I would ever send my kids for a whole host of reasons. Too late for the lotteries. So it's not even a choice at this point. Still, I don't mind. If the kids persistently, clearly wanted to go to school and we had some sort of viable option, then I would consider it. But I don't know how that could even happen for a long time.

Of course, I don't think they'll be asking. The other day, I wanted to sign them up for a local history program where you spend the whole day in 1880 in a one room schoolhouse. BalletBoy flipped the bleep out. He had a full on panic about spending just one day in school. Of course, that was after his initial objection that, "you can't make me travel in time!" :_lol:

09-14-2011, 08:40 PM
I tell non HS people that we are taking it year by year so that I don't have to answer any questions but in truth I have absolutely no intention of putting the kids into PS ever. Of course, as they become older and take more personal responsibility, if they can formulate compelling arguments, then we'll see.

Stella M
09-14-2011, 08:47 PM
Just don't tempt fate people! I thought none of my children would ever set foot in a school too :( Life likes to trick us that way...

09-14-2011, 08:49 PM
Truly I wouldn't be upset if I really thought it was best for them. I don't see that happening but I've changed enough of my ideals to know that it's a possibility. :)

09-15-2011, 12:04 AM
I told them that we will take it year-by-year. It is a lie. After seeing my older change before my very eyes, I couldn't WAIT to get #2 home with me. I manipulated and spoke so sweetly about hsing....younger didn't have a chance (lol). :) I have no intention of EVER sending them back. I don't mention it to ANYONE, though. Only my secret club (you guys). heehee :_(A):


...lol! bcn, me too! Exept that my kids asked me to hs. I say we will take it one year at a time. But on the inside, I don't want them to go back to school. So far, they don't either. :D

09-15-2011, 09:41 AM
This is our first year with both at home, as our younger son attended pre-K last year and Head Start the last two years. We've always said we'll leave it up to them to decide which they wanted to do. Hurricane will never want to go back, if his attitude since being HSed is any indication. Tornado? A little early to tell, but he said that this year he wants to be home with us for kindergarten. Personally, I sincerely hope that by middle school, neither will want to go back to PS, because while their elementary school is good, the middle and high schools are scary. That's a discussion for another day, though.

09-15-2011, 09:48 AM
We started with both ours in public school, but withdrew our son a few years ago for academic reasons, and then last year, our daughter came home because of bullying. She would really like to go back to public school, but, as long as we live where we do, that is not going to happen. I would consider sending her to a private school, if she continues to demand it-but, though she doesn't seem to see it, she has been much happier over the last year than she was in public school. She's got her laugh back, she smiles more, and she's much kinder again. I have my little girl back!

09-15-2011, 10:24 AM
For now we're thinking we'll homeschool for the long haul. I will probably insist on homeschooling at least through middle school (though so far, on our fourth year of homeschooling, there is no interest in PS). My husband is in the military so it will depend on where we are, what the schools are like, and how long we're expected to stay there before we evaluate letting anyone go to PS in high school if they want to.

09-15-2011, 11:25 AM
My oldest DD has always been in PS and until this year my younger 2 DD's were as well. I knew that home schooling was best for DD 9 with all her issues, DD16 decided to stay where she is (living with my mother to finish high school because we moved), and DD7 was given the option. She was well informed and decided she wanted to stay home with mom. I thought at first, I would offer her the choice with each passing year but have since decided against it. I have noticed some issues with her as well over the past few weeks. I suspected them last year in PS 1st grade but let it slide knowing that I would have a good look this year and could make a better decision. Both my girls are home to stay.

09-15-2011, 12:13 PM
DS 13 is home...the decision was ultimately his own and I think he will remain home through high school. He is much happier and learning a lot more at home. My other two DS (8 and 9) are in PS and have always been in PS. They are happy there and choose to be there. (we are lucky to have a great elementary school with a wonderful staff. I do after school them a lot though, about things they are interested in.) If they ever change their mind they can choose to be homeschooled.

09-15-2011, 01:26 PM
We are homeschooling both the kids. My daughter started in ps, but we pulled her out after Kinder. She has no desire to go back. My son has never been in ps, and has no desire to go to one. We homeschool them because it is what is best for them. Homeschooling is how I can make sure they get the education they deserve and make sure their needs are met.

We always said that we would consider allowing them to go to ps for high school. However, that has changed. Our schools only accept credits from accredited schools, so they would accept none of the credits the kids earn homeschooling (I refuse to use an accredited program). My dd just started 8th grade and already has several high school credits. By the end of 8th, she'll have about half the credits the local district requires for graduation. Yet, she would have to repeat all of those courses because the school won't accept the credits. That would not be in the best interest of my kid. My ds, being much younger, does not have high school credits, but will have some before high school.

So, unless the district suddenly starts accepting homeschool credits not from accredited programs and implements a very successful program specifically for 2E kids, run by people who actually understand the psychology of the 2E brain and educational psychology, that actually allows students to work at their own pace, uses a variety of materials & styles, and has a large selection of courses to choose from, there is simply no way that I could see sending either of my kids to the ps.

09-15-2011, 01:56 PM
We are doing that this year. My older dd has been in PS up until this year - she would be in 3rd grade. We pulled her out because school was an unhappy place for her, for various reasons. My younger dd is starting kindergarten this year. She is a much different child, and so far has really been enjoying being in school. Until such time as she isn't enjoying it, or asks to be homeschooled, she's staying in school.

09-20-2011, 10:05 AM
We just started HS this year - my oldest DD went to PS for K and 1st. She is the reason we considered, and then decided on, HS for this year. She is much better served, at this time, by HS. My youngest DD REALLY wants to go to K next year at the PS. Lots of friends are going, she watched her sister go, she really wants to have the experience as well. A large part of me thinks she deserves to have the experience as well. She is very different -personality and learning style - than her sister. And although I don't think the PS will be a good fit for her long-term, I have no real problem with her going to K there. I like the K teachers, she would be with friends, and she would have a school experience...and when and if she were to return to school in MS or HS she would "know" a bit about the "system". So - bottom-line we are considering it for her for next year, while our eldest DD would stay at home.

09-20-2011, 11:11 AM
My daughter went back to public school this year. She got into a school of the arts, and I couldn't say no. It was such a wonderful opportunity for her. Her brothers are still homeschooled.

09-20-2011, 01:11 PM
Right now we are hsing my eldest daughter, a second grader, but my Kindergartener is going to public school. We allowed my eldest to try public school last year, and she was ready to come home this this (begged us to), but my 5 year old really wanted to try Kindergarten at a school. At this early stage, we decided to be somewhat flexible and allow their input in what their schooling will be for the year..not sure we will continue this as they get older, but we'll take it year by year for right now

09-20-2011, 01:19 PM
I'm a former elementary teacher who taught for four years at a progressive, independent, Montessori-based school. I had very strong feelings about the educational experience I wanted for my own kids. When my son was a toddler, I enrolled him two days a week at this school. My daughter was an infant and I thought it would be good for all of us. But my son did not thrive there. He would not explore all the beautiful materials provided for him, but would instead retreat to the quietest areas of the room to do something familiar. He was overwhelmed by the noise and activity in the room. When he was 4, he was diagnosed with Asperger's and I decided to get serious about homeschooling. Ironically, my daughter was a social butterfly and eager to be out in the world. I continued to homeschool them both until we moved here to Baton Rouge the year before she was due to begin Kindergarten. My husband teaches at the local university and everyone said we should try to get her into the K- 12 Lab School there which is highly competitive. There are 100 openings for Kindergarten each year, but no one leaves once they get in, so it is extremely difficult to get older children in. There was an elaborate application process in which we were interviewed by the administration while Amelia was interviewed by all four Kindergarten teachers and was tested. When she was accepted, everyone was thrilled except me and I said we would try it for one year. She's in third grade now and still loves school and is learning a great deal everyday. She has many more opportunities than I could manage if I were homeschooling her. Jack however, is still happy to be homeschooled and work at his own pace in the peace and quiet of our home. He is far ahead of me in history and science, and he reads like a champ, but struggles with math, writing and spelling. We try many different methods until things start to click. We are trying a homeschool co-op this year that meets one day a week, so he gets a little experience having a teacher other than me and he gets to be with his friends. We have good days and hard days, but I still think it is better than any school situation I could find for him. I would never put him in public school and if I put him in a private school I would have to go back to work full time to pay for it. Amelia's school charges tuition too, but it is about half of what most private schools here cost and they take it out of Jeff's check, so we don't miss it so much. Sorry for the long answer. It is a good question and one that I revisit from time to time to make sure we are doing the right thing by each child.

09-20-2011, 03:36 PM
Before we began a few weeks ago, I would have had a hard time imagining sendng one to school while keeping the other home. But that was our situation last year in a way when DD was in PS and DS was home with me for preK. Hmmm

Two weeks in, and DD is so confident and sure of this HS thing. DS, though, is bored. It may change as we get him into his own activities. Right now we're at gym class co-op in the park. It's his favorite class, he says. My shy boy is really starting to crave lots of social interaction.

09-20-2011, 04:29 PM
Currently both kids are home. Should one of them have needs that will be better met in school then school is where that child would go.

09-20-2011, 05:29 PM
I chose "other" because we have one in ps...that is the best environment for her and she thrives there and we have one that we are hsing because that is the best environment for her. Though we discuss the options with both of them, we are pretty set on our choices and more than likely if one of them asked to change we would listen, but keep the choice the same.

09-27-2011, 09:24 AM
I say we will take it year by year for only 1 reason, sports. My son loves all sports so, when he is at the age he can no longer play on rec. teams we will have to look into public school. We will not be going to the High School in our county! I will drive him to a school that is not as bad....how sad is that. I wish we had other options but I really would hate to not let him continue on with sports.

11-16-2011, 08:36 AM
My oldest asked, and when my youngest saw how well it was going, she also asked. For now it's their choice-I'm fine with homeschooling as long as they choose.

11-17-2011, 06:01 PM
I'm certain HSing is the right choice for DS, right now and at LEAST until high school.

My DD (currently preschool) would probably be a breeze to homeschool.

But homeschooling *both of these kids together*? AH, there's the rub. :(

I'm not sure that homeschooling BOTH of my kids would be good for either one of them.

11-18-2011, 09:42 PM
I chose other but it's really more complicated than that.

When we started this journey, we only pulled out dd. Ds stayed in public and seemed to do well. There were daily battles with him, but he had the social stuff down and academically was doing great. I thought we were golden.

In my ... desperate search to find out WHY my dd struggled with the stuff she did (i refused to chalk it up to LDs when she was learning by leaps and bounds at home), I discovered things I almost wish I hadn't. A paper on why I was thinking about becoming a ps teacher and the culmination of THAT research (and an intense discussion with a spec ed teacher friend who has her degree to teach ps English) decided me for once and for all: not only do I NOT want to be a ps teacher, I don't want my kids there either.

Just last night, my ds started crying and asking me why we hadn't pulled him out sooner. And THIS was the kid who was doing great in ps!

For the long haul I just don't know. My plan was to get the kids up to par on their basic skills, then send them back once they were out of our local (troubled in bizarre ways) elementary school. Dh almost seems to be pushing to keep doing it through high school, which is odd since he's the one who didn't want to homeschool in the first place. I think.. we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we are happy :)

11-19-2011, 11:56 AM
If you send one to ps you are inviting that whole world into your home, and it's just not worth it to us.

This is how I feel. I do not want to have any dealings with the school district if I can avoid it, and I hope the day never comes when I have to.

On the other hand, private school....if we had tons of money and there was a secular private school that was a perfect fit, I could see loving that. But I know that situation is not likely to ever happen. The secular private schools here are terribly expensive.

01-20-2012, 09:31 PM
I voted other... I have an only child, so it's kind of a non-issue at our house! :)

01-21-2012, 12:36 AM
I voted other. Batman has no desire to ever return to public school. Robin is currently in a nature-based preschool three days per week. They do science experiments, work in the garden when weather permits, and play outside for one hour each day, rain or shine. He is thriving there. I was planning to give him a year in kindergarten before pulling him, but since I've realized that his academic abilities are really all over the board, plus a short attention span, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. So, we'll see.

01-21-2012, 08:43 AM
When we were deciding what to do, our oldest clearly needed to come home for 2nd grade. She states she never wants to go back. Our youngest was headed into a new full-day kindergarten program and part of us thought we should give it a shot. But, she was already reading, doing basic math, clearly bored by school. She was quiet and flew under the radar in her pre-k program at the school. We weren't too thrilled that the pre-k teacher couldn't even tell us who she played with while at school at the end-of-the-year conference. And, she is extremely jealous of any time her big sis spends with me one-on-one. So, we knew that it would be brutal for all of us if only one stayed home and one went to school because of sibling rivalry.

I have a neighbor that keeps one home and sends one to school. This is their first year. I see her struggles with two different schedules each day. She can't be out past the end of the public school day because she'd have to pay to put her child into aftercare. It isn't easy to manage it this way.

But, moving forward, I want the girls to be comfortable with the choices we've made. So far, they are content to stay home but that seems to become more of a struggle through the middle school years when the desire to be around other kids and gain more independence becomes stronger. Our strategy is to openly discuss it a couple of times a year and we'll make a decision each spring. I've already started planning next year. :-)

My personal goal is to get them to at least 9th grade. I'm not afraid of high school but I think at that point we should go to a football game, tour the local high school, maybe go to some other events like concerts or drama performances to get a feel for what it might be like. Then the girls should decide. But, if things work out according to my vision, high school will include community college which would be another set of tours to do so they understand those options. I think it would be an amazing accomplishment for them to go all the way through but it is their education so I want them to feel comfortable with the choices.

01-22-2012, 09:27 AM
We sent my son to PS for 1st grade and pulled him for 2nd. At the time we told ourselves we'd do this for 2 years, and then put him in the GT public school that starts in 4th grade, but that plan dissolved within weeks. My kid learns fast, but he does not work fast, and he can't stand repetition of things he knows. So, let him read a book and then ask him questions about it - even weeks later - and he can give you all the answers, with detail. Give him a work-sheet to fill out and he'll take 3x as long as average, and do the absolute minimum amount of writing needed, even writing "don't know" to get out of a long answer. I've been told the GT school piles on the writing assignments and worksheets.

The younger may go to PS next year for Kindergarten. She is a very social little thing, and we just don't have enough regular visitation with kids her age in our home school routine. Still, it may be too much for her, I can't tell yet.

01-23-2012, 04:26 PM
My older guy goes to Public HS because they have good AP classes and a great music program. he tells me that he wouldn't do well doing all of that studying on his own.

My younger guy has special needs that i don't feel can be met in school.

It's all about the kids and what their needs are. When I decided to be a momma, I always planned to meet them where they are instead of telling them where they have to be.