View Full Version : Weekly Poll: Have you seen a big difference in your homeschooled child?

08-03-2011, 06:55 AM
Well you might think this question is only for parents/ grandparents or others who have pulled their child/children out of regular (aka~ public or private) school. It’s not just a question for those families only, though. I am sure that those who have homeschooling since the beginning can tell if your child/children are learning more, or has a better attitude than your friends or families children do about the education or the way they act around others. Not to say it is all about your child is better than another child. Just saying that they are enjoying themselves more,learning in a way that conforms to them not in a way that has to work for a class of 30+ children. Also, they have no trouble telling others what they are doing or feeling!

In my personal experience, I can honestly say that pulling my boys out of the school system was the best thing for them. They have blossomed in ways I could have never imagined, both with their attitudes towards everyone and the knowledge that they have retained long term. (And not just for the end of the year test!) For the most part, they are active in helping decide what they want to learn and how much further they want to take a lesson. For example, when my oldest was studying Egypt (which he loves) and he went on his own further looking on the Internet for any and every thing he could find! So our choice would be option 3.(Yes~ We are seeing improvements in both their attitude and academics.)

So what, if any, differences do you see between your child and other children the same age? Or since you pulled them out of “regular” school?

08-03-2011, 09:26 AM
We've homeschooled since the start, so I don't know that I've seen "changes", per se. But my son's December birthday would have put him into 3rd grade in school this year, instead of 4th grade. So it's pleasing to know that homeschooling has placed him on a 4th grade "level" in many respects.

I'm very curious to see the results of this poll for those who have taken their children out of school. Great question!

08-03-2011, 10:10 AM
We've also homeschooled since the start, but I do have other people's stories and my sisters in law to compare to. Definitely it's been fun to nourish the fun of learning. My daughter has been interested in exploring some new ideas and finding answers to her questions. Also I'm thinking that since she's having a little trouble learning to read that it's best she's learning at home. I've seen that if you aren't on pace with the class you get left behind, also if you are ahead in anything, apparently you're a "nerd" and that's supposed to be a bad thing. Of course if you aren't at the top of the class then whoever is in front of you might just make fun of you too.

Anyway I think my daughter has benefited from a more laid back schedule, but also not taking a two month break this summer either. I think she's also enjoying being able to explore some of her own interests and having the extra free time.

Accidental Homeschooler
08-03-2011, 10:15 AM
I don't think we have be hsing long enough to say that there is a difference in academics, but the attitudes are so much better.

08-03-2011, 10:36 AM
While I agreed with the attitude and the education choice I opted for "Yes~ They are taking an active interest helping decide what they want to learn. " because this is something that I had secretly hoped for and was very happy when it happened.

08-03-2011, 10:57 AM
I had my son in kindergarten, and it was a horrendous experience. He has definitely made better progress being at home. The teachers (DD still attends the school where he went to K) constantly ask him when he's going to come back, and he has no problems telling them that he has thought about it and prefers to remain at home.

08-03-2011, 11:38 AM
I can't vote since mine are still pretty young and haven't really been in any school (Li went to preschool for 2 months lol!). But I can say that when we're around some PS kids, I'm glad my kids aren't in school with them. ;)

08-03-2011, 01:00 PM
No. I see taking him out when we did (mid way through grade 1) as more prevention than because of existing problems. True he was bored, and we could easily foresee that becoming a major problem in the near future, but as far as personality or academics he's still the same kid. He's always been curious, always been eager to learn and always been enthusiastic--those are things I was afraid ps might take away from him and so homeschooling has allowed him to be the person he is without a lot of outside peer pressure or teachers holding him back. I love that he can learn what he wants and how he wants but he did that on his own anyway, just outside of ps school hours.

08-03-2011, 03:44 PM
Where's the "I put my kids in school in the first place!" option? :)

08-03-2011, 05:33 PM
We have homeschooled since the begining except the few months my son went to the IU unit (its the next step up from early intervention), and we homeschooled then too to supplement. I can't say I have seen a change either way..but I know that when they play with kids from Public schools I can see my kids are different. They are more reserved, less judgemental, and they are more logical.....I'll take that!

08-03-2011, 06:45 PM
Batman has improved in both attitude and academics. By the end of his kindergarten year, he was refusing to do anything that had to do with reading or writing and would give up very quickly when faced with an academic challenge. When the school tested him, he scored rock bottom in reading skills. After three months of homeschooling, he was reading at grade level, and when the special ed teacher retested him a couple of months later, he no longer qualified for special instruction in reading at all (just reading comprehension, now). His attitude towards his work has gone from "Why try, I'm not going to get it," to well,--a more typical attitude towards schoolwork! Ha, ha, it's definitely more positive. He no longer shrinks from trying new things and with the extra OT I was able to get because I could take him during school hours, the quality of his printing has improved to the point of legibility and his willingness to write has improved tremendously. I have also seen a lot of emotional growth and sharply decreased anxiety.

08-03-2011, 07:55 PM
I had my son in kindergarten, and it was a horrendous experience. He has definitely made better progress being at home. The teachers (DD still attends the school where he went to K) constantly ask him when he's going to come back, and he has no problems telling them that he has thought about it and prefers to remain at home.

WOW. I can't believe teachers are repeatedly asking a young child this! It seems very inappropriate to me. I could see asking the PARENT once in a while *IF* they were thinking about re-enrolling him, but geez....Even just the friendly, "Hey, we miss you. When are you coming back?" is a lot of pressure from folks with authority to place on a young child, esp when things went badly before...Maybe I'm just oversensitive, tho. Good for ds for answering back!

We used K12 VA's at first, and the content is excellent (tho the new Math+ = serious ick), but I definitely see more enthusiasm and greater strides since we went on our own. I just don't think you can beat a fully customized education where the parent is sensitive to the individual needs of the kids (and I enjoy not reworking the curric to suit).

Stella M
08-03-2011, 07:56 PM
Can't say, because I don't have much of an experience of school to compare with ( six months of kindy 8 years ago ). Temperament wise, I'd say not.

People are always remarking on how well the girls get on with adults of all ages and children - I 'think' that's a h/s thing. They are quite independent - maybe a h/s thing.

And I think ds has been able to stay as little or as big as he needs to on any given day. I would say that h/s him has meant an uninterrupted attachment to his mama - and although that sometimes looks immature from a schooled point of view, I think it gives him a solid foundation from which to branch out over his next 7 years.

08-03-2011, 08:11 PM
I voted improved in both academics and attitude. For my son, Kindergarten was a year of steep decline in behavior (meltdowns, defiance, and difficulty getting along with his peers) and a wasted year academically. We're still working on the behavior issues, but they're managable most of the time. Academically he has flourished at home by getting one-on-one help and learning in a way that he enjoys.

08-04-2011, 02:00 AM
I've been homeschooling since the middle of Kindergarten, so not a way to see change in himself so much, but I do notice the differences between my son and his public schooled friends. He is definitely more open, sure of himself and not subject to peer pressure the way they are. And because we're free to learn whatever, he's teaching his friends a thing or two about computers and animation. ;)

08-04-2011, 11:27 AM
We never sent them to school...the decision to homeschool emerged when DD was only 3. Yet I see increasing divergence between her and her conventionally schooled age-peers. Perhaps because I expect my kids to be competent, they are: she does chores many kids aren't doing until their teens, if at all, and she's not yet 7.

-She gets far more free time than her age-peers,
-is far less whiney and self-centered,
-is amazingly capable, compared to age-peers, in terms of chores and work she does or helps with,
-is only limited by food allergies, for what she eats. She can't have dairy or soy, but she loves all vegetables, local pastured liver, homemade kimchi, chickpea miso, all manner of curries and delicacies normally considered 'adult' food by most. My kids, even as toddlers, enjoy salads with vinaigrette, liver and onions, broccoli, olives, fermented foods, etc. and I am always shocked at how "picky" (I say, limited) other kids are, who are raised on Teddy Grahams and french fries, apparently.

-less a slave of peer approval, because she sees that that approval is completely arbitrary.
-She understands and can use, words like arbitrary.

Similarities between her and conventionally schooled girls (whose mileage also vary in these ways)

-She's a social butterfly with a high degree of social hunger. She'd have a gaggle of girls around her all the time, if she could. I do my best to see to it that she has a lively group of friends.
-she shares the universal desire to fit in, to have something in common with other girls, and we pick and choose what type of fitting in suits, whether the Other is a homeschooler or not, as there is as much variation within the homeschool community as there is in the Prussian schooling community.

She is extrememly crush-prone, and this unnerved me til I admitted to myself, that I could still name each boy I had a crush on since Kindergarten, and there is a difference between being one of the girls who has those feelings that early, naturally, and being objectified and sexualized by society through apathy, and by corporations through the profit motive.

She also gets more exercise than her conventionally schooled age-cohorts, and was dismayed to find other girls her age panting and wheezing and saying they didn't want to play tag on the playground.
She also doesn't think she's fat, or talk about dieting, being thin, or being sexy. Sorry to say, that makes her different. At 6.

08-04-2011, 12:57 PM
This is a topic I wish I could chew the ears off my friends about . . . but they see it for themselves.
Our older son (SPD/Anxiety/ Central Auditory Processing Disorder) always struggled in the classroom, the teachers had high expectations for this very articulate curious child. Each day was met with punishment and confusion. Kindergarten is when we discovered his Sensory issues, unbeknownst to me, most of his 'symptoms' were caused more by anxiety then his very attuned hearing! 1st grade we thought was off to a better start, at first better communications with the teacher, but that quickly dissolved into mutual frustration. A good sign your child is not blending in is when he chooses to make his own cubicle to sit and try to do it work, with headphones on .. .Lets not mention the running away, the fits at home, the poor self image, the no invites to parties, the other parents judging him and being told he can't come to playdates because he is too 'crazy'. Breaks my heart!
My younger son only had some vision problems and was a blend in kind of kid, we had no idea the level of number manipulation he had going on in his head, he is several Singapore Math books into our first year. He would have been bored into conformity very soon had we left him in public school.

I could go one for pages about this, I am very anti-public school, even though I have many friends who are teachers in the district. They agree our son was treated very unfairly and I'd love to slap a lawsuit on them as a 'you should know better' but I live in a small city . . .and my pocket book is better saved for something else . .like field trips!
our whole family has a totally new dynamic because we HS, we are happier and healthier and I know my children better, like when they were toddlers . . .I'm not going back! I love HSing . . .

08-05-2011, 11:15 AM
Yes, yes, yes! Our oldest daughter was a sweet-natured little girl until she started K. For K and 1st she was moody and just a different child. On the weekends she was almost normal, but during the week was torture. Part of it at least was just the schedule, but part was also the attitudes she was around on a daily basis (teachers spent most of the day yelling at class, other kids being mean and disruptive, etc.) They made a huge impact on her. Then add to that the fact that we only had time to rush her in the mornings for school, and struggle through homework in the afternoon/evenings, just to rush to bed so she wouldn't be tired in the morning. There was no time for us to just be a family, except on the weekends. After we started homeschooling in 2nd grade, she completely changed back into her normal sweet temperament.

Academically, she has gone from being in a remedial reading program to being above grade level and loving reading. She also has come to love history, which (judging from my own public school experience) would not have appealed to her in the way they present it in public school. She still struggles with math somewhat, but I actually have time to help her with it, as opposed to trying to teach her new concepts during homework time. That was a big reason we decided to homeschool. She was coming home with no clue how to do her homework, saying the teacher hadn't even mentioned these things in class, and we were left to do the teaching ourselves. We figured, if we were already doing the teaching, we might as well have all day to do it in.

Our 7 year old son has never been to public school, so it's hard to say. We don't spend much time around public school kids either (not intentionally, just don't run into them often). So, I'd say he's about average. I do think he would probably have behavioral problems in public school, which would naturally affect his attitude. I suspect he would be labelled ADHD, but I think the school environment is the problem rather than his behavior though, so we don't plan on him going to school anytime soon.

08-06-2011, 11:16 AM
We sent our daughter to a Montessori school for Preschool-2nd grade before pulling her out to homeschool. I definitely see a change for the better in academics, her attitude goes back and forth with some days being better than others, and she's more interested in helping around the house and playing a vital role in her own education. I'm so happy I made the decision to homeschool her.

We will homeschool our son too because we've already seen the public school failing him and he hasn't even been in school yet. He's 3 years old and has an undiagnosed adaptive issue (social, sensory, communication kind of stuff) and during an evaluation the school said that as long as he doesn't disrupt the classroom they don't think he needs help. When I told them he wasn't going into a classroom they proceeded to tell me what a bad parent I am for not "socializing" my child and that he wouldn't have any problems at all if I would just stick him in their daycare program. Ok, I'm done ranting.


08-06-2011, 12:17 PM
We will homeschool our son too because we've already seen the public school failing him and he hasn't even been in school yet. He's 3 years old and has an undiagnosed adaptive issue (social, sensory, communication kind of stuff) and during an evaluation the school said that as long as he doesn't disrupt the classroom they don't think he needs help. When I told them he wasn't going into a classroom they proceeded to tell me what a bad parent I am for not "socializing" my child and that he wouldn't have any problems at all if I would just stick him in their daycare program. Ok, I'm done ranting.


I'm sorry, I just have to say that is just terrible they would say those things to you. It definitely does re-enforce your decision though.

08-06-2011, 08:19 PM
I've seen no changes in attitude or academics. My DD has always been curious about a lot of things so has been somewhat of a self learner though she tends to get into lazy funks. Her attitude might be better but it's hard to tell - she's almost 12 and has a developed a teen attitude!

08-08-2011, 10:01 AM
I am happy to say we have just finished our firsty year of homeschooling (it was sixth grade for my son), and I see HUGE changes! Academically, I feel like my son is catching up (certainly much more than he would have had he remained in a traditional FL classroom). Emotionally, I feel like my son has matured dramatically. For lack of a better way to put it, he is really coming into his own, and turning into such a gentleman! In addition, his confidence has sky rocketed! I have one final meeting with the woman who is completing our end of the year evaluation, but I would say this year has been a total success! And if you are on the fence about trying homeschool, give it a shot! It was the best decision I have made for my son in a long time!

11-15-2011, 09:25 AM
Our oldest (11) started homeschooling first. She had started at the middle school at the beginning of this year, and it was a complete disaster (the school, that is.) She was threatened by a disturbed boy in her class on the first and second days of school, and started having physical symptoms of anxiety and stress. The school did such a poor job of giving her support, and excused the perpetrator that there was no other option but to take her out. Those physical symptoms disappeared right away, and she was such a happier kid. Our youngest started homeschooling a couple of weeks after that, and it was clear to me how unhappy she had also been in the public elementary school. After two months at home, both girls are relaxed, happy, and very motivated. We just had parent teacher conferences, and the teacher gave the results of their assessments-both girls scored advanced in math and LA. My oldest has always been bored by LA (hated Accelerated Reader, Study Island, etc.) at school, and has never scored advanced on the standardized tests in LA. Although I am not a fan of standardized testing, I am looking forward to seeing how they will do this spring. I'm confident they will do better than when they were in school-AND they will fully understand their coursework! I often felt the last 3 months of school were a joke-so much attention given to test preparation, scope and sequence made no sense, they skimmed and rushed the core subjects. We would be teaching math at home-difficult content that wasn't being properly taught because of the testing. Every year I'd be in the principal's office complaining-so glad those days are over!

11-15-2011, 01:28 PM
When I pulled my dd, she had been in ps for prek, K, and part of first. She had learned to write her name, and could count. She knew some of the letters of the alphabet. That was the sum total of her ps education. Oh, wait, they taught her that she was stupid. ps wanted her in their remedial program for both reading and math. After just a few months homeschooling, her math skills zoomed past her peers. After a year (and learning with phonics instead of sight words) her reading is just slightly below grade level. She is much more outgoing, and no longer believes she is stupid.

For ds, it was a different story. Academically he plodded along at their pace, but was capable of much more. Unfortunately he learned some bad habits (don't bother to apply yourself because you'll get good grades anyway... don't be too interested in anything. For subjects where your grades are so-so, don't bother trying because you aren't good at them...). We pulled him out, though, because emotionally he was a mess. After being home since January, his behavior is 90% better. He finally finished reading the first novel he's ever completed for me yesterday- and that was with him saying, "my time's up but give me a couple more minutes!"

Socially, my kids are not even the same children. No matter where I take them, they almost always behave extremely well. ds is much more patient with younger kids, dd is much more outgoing and talkative with adults (it's almost like they needed to leave ps to learn the socialization stuff that ps says they teach). My ds respects us MUCH better than he used to because dh and I are firmly back in the role of authority figures.

Sorry so long... What started out as my dedicated attempts to keep my dd out of a menial, underpaid and poor existance due to not being able to read has morphed into something... a million times more profound. The only drawbacks to homeschooling, imho, are on MY time (but i love that, too, so not really a drawback LOL)

11-16-2011, 03:44 AM
My DD attended Pre-K for 3 out of the first 12 days of school when she was 4. At that point she informed me that a little boy was picking on her, they weren't letting her read as long as she liked and color sheets were stupid. I decided then and there I was taking her back home and she never had to attend PS again. She is almost 13 now and is still homeschooled with some virtual school. We hit a few rough years where nothing we said made any difference, but now she works independently and has no problem asking for my help if she needs it. She also helps her younger brother with his studies and she does a lot to help me care for her little sister as well. My DS has never attended PS and I just don't feel like it would be beneficial in any way for him. He initially had some speech issues and he is a very shy sensitive boy. Around here that usually means getting bullied by "tough" boys. I don't want that kind of socialization for my son. It certainly doesn't improve one academically to be teased and beaten. So while he is a little behind his grade level *not his peers...they are behind too around here,*at least he can learn at his pace in a safe environment. Anyway I have no doubts that once he finds that trigger that truly sparks his interest in learning, he will be ahead of the game.

11-16-2011, 03:52 AM
I'm reluctant to say her attitude has improved, because to me that implies she's been difficult and she never has. But since we started to homeschool, she's happier. So much happier. And she's learning and grounded and creative - and happy. Did I say that? So much happier.