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View Full Version : Weekly Poll: How do you know if you are doing too much?



pandahoneybee
05-11-2011, 03:13 PM
Something that plagues any parent homeschooling or not, how do you know if you are doing too much? Whether that is too much of an educational work load, too many classes outside the home, social events, sports and even if you are working outside or at home. Now I am talking about you here not your child!

At least, some days I totally collapse on the bed wondering if I got everything done that needed to get done for that day. Only to realize that I forgot to do the laundry (and of course everyone is out of underwear!) or get the next morning's lessons ready so that the boys can get going as soon as they are ready. So up I go when my mind and body say "STAY PUT";)

While I do have chores that my boys do to help out I still have a to do list that is a mile long! I recently got roped into taking on a role in our local homeschool group's board,as the teen event coordinator, afterwords I was left with this nagging feeling that I should have said NO! Not because i don't have a ton of great ideas that I think that the teens would enjoy but I personally don't know if I can squeeze another thing into my day! Just wondering how everyone else decides when enough is enough! Maybe you are like me and you think I can rest when I am dead or when the kids are out of high school;) So how do you know when to say no to yet another thing?!

hockeymom
05-11-2011, 03:23 PM
We don't do too much because in our area there literally isn't anything to do. No homeschool group, no classes to take, no interesting landmarks to check out, no museums, no one gets together socially... DS is in a couple sports, but that takes up a total of an hour and a half a week. We're insanely bored--I'd LOVE to have too many choices!

dottieanna29
05-11-2011, 05:38 PM
I put other because we are kind of a combination of "When My Family Tells Me" and "We are a balanced family".

If the kids are tired and don't want to go to an activity, I know we are doing too much. It has only happened at isolated times since we don't tend to sign up for too many commitment activities like sports. ds did soccer and now does t-ball. Both little kids do gymnastics but the last day is Friday. There may be a week where we have a park day, gymnastics, t-ball and a homeschool nature walk. The kids would be ready for a break after all that (as would I).

I could easily over-do it around here - co-ops, homeschool gymnastics, homeschool bowling, nature center homeschool classes, park days, field trips, homeschool weeks at museums. There is a LOT to do around here. Part of the reason we manage to be so "balanced" though is because the kids are so young and we don't want to pay money for things they won't get much out of. That and I'm a serious introvert and too much time around other people would drive me insane.

Of course, I learned my lesson with my oldest. She is a 5 day a week dancer, head cheerleader and public high school student. Since she just got her license, I've been chauffer for all her stuff.

dbmamaz
05-11-2011, 05:43 PM
LOL i have the opposite problem - i'm always sure i'm not doing enough. We NEVER do too much. I'm antisocail and the kids dont like classes or clubs.

Stella M
05-11-2011, 06:54 PM
Other. When I feel unhappy about homeschooling, then I know I've bitten off more than I can chew socially. Being in a co-op last year made me really unhappy, so we quit, whereas running book club once a month is fine.

What I find hard is balancing how much is enough for different children.

As far as academics go, I feel like I have a good balance now, though when we began h/s I ran myself ragged trying to do everything in a day. It gets easier as the kids get older and are more independent learners and can get themselves around to various places without me.

farrarwilliams
05-11-2011, 10:45 PM
When I snap at the kids over little things. Like I did the whole two weeks before The Tempest. I made poor BalletBoy cry at co-op one day. So sad.

But then we had a great experience with our too much... so... it's hard to know. Afterward, we dialed it back and that was good. But if we dialed too far back, we'd miss out on things. And I like to organize. Sigh. Balance. Balance.

Oh, I know, also, when I'm not writing. :( Boo to that.

lakshmi
05-12-2011, 02:31 AM
We don't do too much because in our area there literally isn't anything to do. No homeschool group, no classes to take, no interesting landmarks to check out, no museums, no one gets together socially... DS is in a couple sports, but that takes up a total of an hour and a half a week. We're insanely bored--I'd LOVE to have too many choices!

I can't imagine. Wish I had less to do, but then I'd still find out that it was too much! lol

JinxieFox
05-12-2011, 03:27 AM
I try not to do too many things, which can be difficult with a child and homeschooling, plus outside classes and camps at the Youth Center on base, a caique (which is like having a 2-year-old toddler for 20-30 years of your life), the cats, my writing, my research, and pursuing my own interests in general. But if my husband points out that I need a break, then I take a break, because he's always right. :)

pandahoneybee
05-12-2011, 07:04 AM
because he's always right. :)

WOW I never admit that mine is right , then it would go to his head! BAHAW

Seriuosly I think that the people around us can see things that we don't! I just wanted to pipe back in here and tell you all that YOU ALL ROCK! I love the different answers that we get when we post these polls. It helps me from thinking I am crazy when I see the reasons why people answer the they that they do! Thanks for always being honest!

Riceball_Mommy
05-12-2011, 10:25 AM
I chose other, because I'm always one that feels like I'm not doing enough. I have limited transportation, and all the cool co-ops with the homeschool group are either on a bad day for us, or the minimum age was 6. There seem to be no homeschoolers in this neighborhood, and none near by because I tried to set up a park day for the park I can walk to easily and that was a bust. I always wonder if we're doing enough school work, I feel like I should work on my art more, clean more, but I know I need some "me time" so I always want to find time to read or watch a show on the computer.
Oh also I worry about the classes because my daughter seems to have inherited my anxiety so I'm not so quick to sign her up for something because I know sometimes going off into a room with a bunch of people she doesn't know might not work out.

Busygoddess
05-12-2011, 10:39 AM
We don't do any co-ops, homeschool groups, or regular classes/activities outside the house. We only have one working car. So, all appointments, outside classes, errands, trips to the park, etc. have to be after hubby gets home or on weekends. Having that limit helps keep us from overscheduling. Plus, we don't fit in with the local homeschoolers we've met or the group/co-op that we spent time with.
We don't think there is such a thing as too much academic workload. If there is, we have yet to find it.
As for too much in general, that happens occasionally. Generally, it happens when my husband & the kids decide not to do their share of the housework & I end up picking up the slack. The sign that lets everyone know - I walk into the kitchen and start slamming everything around (slamming dishes into the dishwasher, slamming cabinet doors, etc.), with no concern for what I might break, and I'm ranting to myself about them thinking I'm their maid, etc.
It seems that I can handle an infinite amount of work/projects, etc., as long as they are things I want to do. It never seems to be too much until you toss in a bunch of things I don't want to do.

Laina
05-12-2011, 10:43 AM
I voted "when my husband/significant other doesn't recognize me" Since I left my ft job and started working from home as a freelancer, I have had more time with my kids and not enough with my husband. Usually any papers I have to grade, editing I have to do, emails I have to write, etc., get pushed back to when the kids are in bed, so any "alone" time with my husband is gone. Too often we're on our own separate screens and I climb into bed an hour or more after he does. I need to figure out the right work-life balance. It's so difficult to say "no" to a new editing project or online class to teach when we do need the money!

I guess mine is a little different because it's about work rather than activities.

rumbledolly
05-12-2011, 11:04 AM
The only way I recognize I'm doing too much is when I end up needing or being forced to take a mental health day because I'm physically ill. Then I hide in bed with the covers over my head and assume my DD and DH will just carry on.

My assumptions are normally wrong when I wake up and the two dogs and the cat are sitting on the bed staring at me because it's been over 12 hours since they were last fed.

I'm one of those people who is a Type A overachiever but I'm lucky that I have developed sloth like tendencies in the last few years. My body can go slow due to my advanced age :( but I still have a hard time turning off my brain.

MissKitty
05-12-2011, 11:37 AM
I voted when I have more homework than the kids....I tend to always think they need more, and I know they do not--some of that PS thinking still lingering...I own a local homeschool group, and we are very busy with them. I plan a lot of this things, but have a lot of families who plan and lead other activities and I just don't want them to miss out...:) They are so social and love their friends so much, that even a day or two without them chimes in "Can we go see our friends?"
Since we have someone on our calendar almost every day with the HS group, we dropped the more expensive things like gymnastics and karate...
But I find I spend more time looking for things for all of us to do, that after the 4th or 5th night of going to bed a 3am, I back off a little...
I am just such an active social person, that I don't like to stay home much! LOLOL

Quinnsmom
05-12-2011, 03:49 PM
I would recommend SKYPE to you. We met our homeschool penpal on the"homeschool penpal" list and from there SKYPE with our Australian Mom/Daughter friends. I think it would help you?

lakshmi
05-12-2011, 11:07 PM
~~~oooo~~~ homeschool penpal list... this sounds interesting. Did hear that skype might be biting the dust though.

Ariadne
05-13-2011, 01:59 PM
^ Skype was acquired by Microsoft. Time will tell how it evolves. MS needs to compete with Apple in the face-to-face market so I'm actually surprised it took them this long to nab it.

Ariadne
05-13-2011, 02:01 PM
Oh, and I guess I should answer the OP. :blush:

I'm one of the three who voted "I never do too much - I make sure of it!"

That's not entirely true as sometimes I stumble into a busier-than-usual week that gets to me, but I am very quick to call a timeout on anything impromptu, and household chores tend to go by the wayside without an ounce of guilt.

I know myself well enough to realize that I don't do *busy* well.

Jilly
05-13-2011, 03:27 PM
When I snap at the kids over little things. Like I did the whole two weeks before The Tempest. I made poor BalletBoy cry at co-op one day. So sad.

But then we had a great experience with our too much... so... it's hard to know. Afterward, we dialed it back and that was good. But if we dialed too far back, we'd miss out on things. And I like to organize. Sigh. Balance. Balance.

Oh, I know, also, when I'm not writing. :( Boo to that.

This is me exactly. If we do too much (like we are now) I am quick to snap, and other things suffer, like my blog. If we do too little, the kids get bored, and I worry that we are not taking advantage of everything around us. It is a hard balance for me.