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View Full Version : Weekly Poll: What brings you the most doubt as a homeschooling parent?



Topsy
01-26-2011, 02:50 PM
I read a blog post this morning by a mom who was seemingly doubting everything about her choice to homeschool. It made me so sad, not only for her, but because at different times in our journey, I had felt most of the specific doubts she mentioned. Why is it often so much easier to doubt ourselves than to congratulate ourselves?

What about you...what things are you feeling doubtful about right now?

SherryZoned
01-26-2011, 03:00 PM
Math! I was a high school dropout and never went to college. For many years I allowed people to make me feel bad about that. Then i woke up or grew up and said.. That does not define how smart I am or who I am. I think we can all teach our kids on any educational level because if nothing else I have you all and the internet. Without the internet I don't know if i would feel confident enough specially in math the bane of my existence.

PaganHSMama
01-26-2011, 03:06 PM
"Doubting my ability to teach specific subjects" was my answer. I especially worry about when my daughter is older and goes into more advanced subjects. For my son, I used a cyberschool for high school, which was a great help. However, there were certain aspects of the cyberschool experience that I did not like. So, I decided to get an advanced degree instead (which I am currently working on), so that I may homeschool my daughter through graduation!

dottieanna29
01-26-2011, 03:17 PM
I put doubting my patience. There are probably too many days where I just throw in the towel because no body wants to cooperate on even the littlest thing. Of course, we're just starting out and they are very young and I don't have to report to anyone....so throwing in the towel is actually not that big of a deal, at least for now.

My second choice is probably (i know, i know, don't shoot me) the socialization. NOT because I think homeschoolers can't be "normally" socialized. Because I am an extreme introvert and I hate leaving my house. Any excuse I can come up with to not do things...it's too cold, it's too hot, it's too humid, the kids are cranky, the kids are too tired, etc. I have to really make an effort to go out and do things. Luckily, some things are pretty easy for me - homeschool gymnastics I can drop them off and sit alone in my car with a book, town rec soccer and t-ball DH can handle the majority of it. It's the purely social gatherings that I find difficult. But, I'm working on it.

dbmamaz
01-26-2011, 03:34 PM
I put other. Socailization is honestly an issue, but not a doubt, if that makes sense. We struggle w it but I dont think that, for us, its really a home school issue - socailization was not really that great in public school much of the time. Style comes closest, but not really - i'm eclectic and i couldnt be anything else, with the weird kids i have.

My worry is more pervasive . . . I just worry I'm not doing enough to help them be their best. I worry that I'm not teaching my teen enough problem-solving skills . . .but then I remember that its really not his strength. I worry that I'm focussing too much on college prep when he might need more practical job skills. I worry that I let him have too much free time.

My younger is SO good at math, and I worry that i'm not pushing him more in math. The other day he spent over an hour of free time playing with the graphs in T4L tools, and discussing data, and showing me how it looked in different formats. Ok, the 'data' was how powerful different groups that were fighting were, but still. Part of me thinks I should be maximizing his achievement, while the other part thinks I need to be helping him find his way - i suspect math his way will be a powerful thing. But i'm leaning towards a 'better late then early' and mildly unschooling with him (some structure, still, but more child led) and keep doubting myself (and him? the process?)

yeah, most of it.

schwartzkari
01-26-2011, 03:54 PM
I chose doubting my ability to teach specific subjects. I am fully confident that I can teach my children the basics; reading, writing, math, language arts. When it comes to the sciences though, that is tough for me. I went back to school last year to finish my teaching degree (will be finished in about 16 weeks!) so that I could have an overview of everything, including science. It has helped with my doubts...but I'm glad there are labs and other interesting experiments to help, lol.

Stella M
01-26-2011, 04:16 PM
Other..again. I like what Cara said about socialisation being an issue, not a doubt. I sometimes doubt my motivations - do I homeschool because I believe in homeschooling as an educational method - or as a reaction against my own schooling and a strong feeling that I disagree with the politics of mass education ?

Stages
01-26-2011, 04:45 PM
I'm concerned about my ability to handle the additional responsibility. I'm not a very good housekeeper and I don't cook, and I'm worried that I won't be able to do everything and keep my sanity.

Pilgrim
01-26-2011, 06:01 PM
I'm most worried about my patience and willingness to take this on. Second is socialization because I am somewhat of a recluse and would rather be alone most times. Plus, being a male in a small, conservative, traditional community doesn't excite me so I worry I won't get the kids out as much as they need. I'm confident in my ability to teach the subject matter.

Stella M
01-26-2011, 06:35 PM
Pilgrim and Dorothy, speaking as an introvert, I do find that aspect of having to 'get out there' quite exhausting. Finding a balance is possible though. It helps if your children are also introverts :)

I think the job helps develop patience; you don't need to be a saint any way. Kids learn from being around the real you.

inmom
01-26-2011, 07:39 PM
I doubt my ability to teach specific subjects, especially now that they're heading into high school levels. I'm good with the math and most of the sciences (having been a physics and math teacher in my former life), but I'm fearful of the language arts, foreign languages, anything artsy. That's why we're looking for outside classes..online, etc. Plus just planning all of that at the high school level seems to be exhausting!

Hampchick
01-26-2011, 07:47 PM
I'm pretty darn positive about HSing right now. :o

I try to stay away from the doubt talk because it's just not helpful, but sometimes I do wonder whether what I'm doing is enough or how I'll ever manage to teach two kids once my youngest is school aged. In the back of my mind I worry about the point that I won't be able to teach the material. Hopefully that won't be until high school age and by then I expect we'll have other options. For the most part I take it day by day and if I ever find it's not working then we'll re-evaluate. I can't imagine continuing to homeschool if I was really doubting my choice.

lynne
01-26-2011, 08:25 PM
I checked socialization because it is my biggest worry right now. We're hoping to get involved in some HS groups soon. I don't doubt my ability to teach him because I know I can't do worse than the school system. It was really bad!

farrarwilliams
01-26-2011, 08:45 PM
I don't think I actually doubt any of the things listed above. I rarely doubt my decision to homeschool as it feels so clearly better than our other options. But suddenly losing the ability to do it financially (while it seems like that won't happen - dh has a good job that is unlikely to be affected by the recession - we have a modest savings, etc.) is totally my biggest fear.

MarkInMD
01-26-2011, 08:45 PM
I have no doubts about subject matter at this stage of the game. When it comes to higher math in about 6-7 years, then there might be some issues.

I'm going with socializing, too, although we're actively working on it. Fortunately the neighbor kids right across the street are the same ages and have grown up with our kids around. The main problem is they're heavily involved in sports while ours aren't adept at that, and their parents have a different style in some important ways than we do -- they tend to be the party house on the block, and we're definitely not that type. But karate classes are doing well for now in helping to form friends for Hurricane, and once Tornado is in HS next school year, we'll be enrolling both of them in a few classes at the local school for the arts that are geared to homeschoolers.

I'm not exactly an introvert, but I'm also not the type to introduce myself to complete strangers. I'll be the person at the social gatherings hoping that friends introduce me around. Once I know people, I'm a completely different guy. And I think both our kids are that way, too.

Miguels mommy
01-26-2011, 11:58 PM
I worry that I'm not teaching Miguel the things that he needs to cope and to be happy, healthy in life when he gets old enough. I really have trouble knowing when to back off with completing work and how to teach him life skills. At the same time I have very little doubt that the public school would do any better teaching him the skills he need. I also have issues with patience.

Pilgrim
01-27-2011, 12:13 AM
I'll be the person at the social gatherings hoping that friends introduce me around. Once I know people, I'm a completely different guy. And I think both our kids are that way, too.

Same here, Mark. It takes me a while, and my wife is the opposite -- she has the 'gift of gab'. We talked about my worries about this tonight, and I reminded myself that the socialization aspect will ebb and flow with the seasons and as relationships are made and fade. Also, I'd be comfortable with going to lessons and gym night and other HS events at a neutral location -- it's the image of sitting in someone's kitchen trying to make conversation with several moms while the kids play in the other room that makes me cringe (mostly because I imagine them cringing). But, hey, no one said that has to be a part of it, right? (and it's certainly an aspect where my wife's people skills would come in very handy)

dbmamaz
01-27-2011, 12:17 AM
lol Pilgrim, i was always amazed at the fact that the home school dad in our group didnt get upset when the conversation ALWAYS turned to birth . . . we did upset him with something eventually, but i dont actually remember what it was . . .

StartingOver
01-27-2011, 12:33 AM
I only doubt my sanity ! I have been down this road once, not sure I will survive it again. I dread my little ones becoming teens. Thankfully I have a bit of time yet. By then I may be to senile to care LOL. I can't always hope ???? Right, right ????

Riceball_Mommy
01-27-2011, 09:44 AM
I needed to be able to select multiple choices here. I picked "Doubting my ability to teach specific subjects" because even though my daughter is in Kindergarten I worry that it's not that she's not ready, it's that I'm failing to teach her. Of course to talk to any of my family should have been able to count to 20 last year, and should have known how to sing the alphabet. This year she's finally clicked with counting to 10, we're still working on letter recognition, but also working on sight words and phonics.
I also doubt the socialization because for the last two "semesters" we haven't been able to do co-op because it's been on a day and in a place where I just can't get us there. Even though she has two best friends that she's on weekends I still worry that, that is not enough. I also worry that she needs more homeschool friends (her two best friends go to public school). The group doesn't seem to have too many purely social outings, lots of field trips and co-ops and those are either at a bad time for us or for an older age group.

dottieanna29
01-27-2011, 09:49 AM
I'm concerned about my ability to handle the additional responsibility. I'm not a very good housekeeper and I don't cook, and I'm worried that I won't be able to do everything and keep my sanity.

Wow, I could have written this word for word. I am lucky in that my husband will handle all aspects of dinner - the deciding/planning, the preparing, the actual cooking, even the shopping if it's not a item we already have. The housekeeping...with that I'm just lucky my husband isn't a neat-nick and doesn't seem to mind about the constant mess and clutter as long as he has a clean place to cook and clean clothes occasionally (which some weeks is all I manage to do).


Pilgrim and Dorothy, speaking as an introvert, I do find that aspect of having to 'get out there' quite exhausting. Finding a balance is possible though. It helps if your children are also introverts :)

Unfortunately my kids are extreme extroverts. They will walk up to anyone, adult or child, in any situation and start telling them all about themselves and our whole family. So far they are still young and cute enough that most people find it funny. I just never know what to do - join them? pull them back? tell them to leave the people alone?


I only doubt my sanity ! I have been down this road once, not sure I will survive it again. I dread my little ones becoming teens. Thankfully I have a bit of time yet. By then I may be to senile to care LOL. I can't always hope ???? Right, right ????

I was out with my two little ones the other day and someone made the comment "I know this age is hard but I think the absolutely worst is teenagers." My reply? "Yeah, I have one of those too." Things are getting slightly better although my youngest is stretching the terrible twos out for a few years, my oldest is learning to drive/look at colleges/date boys. I wonder if it's easier if you have some in the middle rather than just the extreme? Or is it better if you have a chance to forget some of what's coming?

Laina
01-27-2011, 10:13 AM
I'm not homeschooling yet (well, not technically, but dd is in half-day morning K, and between the holidays, sick days, and snow cancellations around here, a school day has been a rare thing!) The thing that MOST holds me back from being sure about homeschool for next year is the lack of time for myself. I work from home as a freelancer, and I imagine that if dd goes to first grade next year, I can put ds in part-time preschool and have time to clean the house, get my work done, go to the gym, plan delicious homemade meals...(this is mostly fantasy, obviously). Then I imagine being a homeschool mom, and picture myself as more stressed, chubby, and working every night after kids are in bed. I want to have time with my husband at night, and I'm worried that homeschooling will make this very difficult. FWIW, the homeschool lifestyle won't be much different from what I've been doing the past few years as a wahm, it's just dd going to ps all day next year offers an easier way of life, one that is very tempting....

StartingOver
01-27-2011, 10:37 AM
I was out with my two little ones the other day and someone made the comment "I know this age is hard but I think the absolutely worst is teenagers." My reply? "Yeah, I have one of those too." Things are getting slightly better although my youngest is stretching the terrible twos out for a few years, my oldest is learning to drive/look at colleges/date boys. I wonder if it's easier if you have some in the middle rather than just the extreme? Or is it better if you have a chance to forget some of what's coming?

I hate to break this to you, but you don't forget. It doesn't get any easier when they are 20 somethings. At least when they were teens I had some control, very little sometimes. When they turn 18, you just have to watch. Walk the fine line, watch them to make mistakes, but crying for the train wreck you see coming. I have really good kids for the most part, no worse than normal I would guess. I think as mothers we want to protect them. It is harder and harder the older they get.

I will take little ones any day !! ;-)

Earthami
01-27-2011, 10:56 AM
I doubt our ability to get socialization for both of us. We are homebodies, we also deal with anxiety, so getting out and meeting new people is hard. Trying to find a homeschool tribe is overwhelming me right now. We've been home for 2 years now and we don't have any other homeschoolers we hang out with. He has Scouts and thrives with it, but I need more interaction also.

Ami

Amy
01-27-2011, 10:57 AM
I too worry that I'm not doing everything I can to make my daughter her best. I find myself constantly looking at things with hindsight and saying to myself, "I missed that". Logically, I know this is the right place for her to be learning. Socialization, for us, isn't really an issue. We've made sure pretty early that she has access to lots of children HS and PS. Although, the PS kids tend to teach her bad habits! LOL There are times, however, that she does miss certain social aspects of going to public school, but in everything there is a trade off, so I try not to focus my guilt there. ;-) There are also certain subjects I struggle with - math and science. It's one thing to do it in elementary/middle school, but when it gets harder... That will be when my husband takes over those subjects, or will find a mentor for her.

I think the biggest doubt is that nagging feeling of my own insecurity. What opportunities am I missing? What is it when she's an adult that she's going to say, "Why didn't you show me how to do ...?"

BerryBlues
01-27-2011, 10:58 AM
Dorothy, I am the same way (and also live in Jersey) I just don't like leaving the house. I joined a mothers group and have been forcing myself to be more social. My Son loves it, I love it for him. :o)

Topsy
01-27-2011, 11:04 AM
The thing that MOST holds me back from being sure about homeschool for next year is the lack of time for myself. I work from home as a freelancer, and I imagine that if dd goes to first grade next year, I can put ds in part-time preschool and have time to clean the house, get my work done, go to the gym, plan delicious homemade meals...(this is mostly fantasy, obviously). Then I imagine being a homeschool mom, and picture myself as more stressed, chubby, and working every night after kids are in bed. I want to have time with my husband at night, and I'm worried that homeschooling will make this very difficult.

Laina,
I kind of giggled at how "right on" your predictions are. I'm 25 pounds heavier, my house is a disaster, and I'm as stressed as I've ever been. BUT, with all that said, I also feel like I am probably the most happy person I know. I get to spend 24/7 with the coolest human beings on the planet (my kiddos), and have watched them blossom from birth to very soon being ready to spread their wings and fly. Getting to watch that process take place is something I don't regret for one minute!! :)

Hippysoul
01-27-2011, 11:16 AM
As a new homeschooler to my 9 year old twin boys, I worry about socialization. I worry that they won't make those lifelong friends that usually happen in school. That they don't get that day to day interaction with other kiddos. It's not enough to stop us from homeschooling, but it's a concern.

mommykicksbutt
01-27-2011, 01:32 PM
I don't doubt our homeschooling one bit. The only thing that I have expressed a concern about was having enough (and in enough depth) for my son to keep him challanged. A lot of advise given to parents of profoundly gifted children is to basically just give them lots of busy work, something both my son and I hate. We would rather cover more ground and in more depth that answers "why."

mommykicksbutt
01-27-2011, 01:36 PM
I kind of giggled at how "right on" your predictions are. I'm 25 pounds heavier, my house is a disaster, and I'm as stressed as I've ever been. BUT, with all that said, I also feel like I am probably the most happy person I know. I get to spend 24/7 with the coolest human beings on the planet (my kiddos), and have watched them blossom from birth to very soon being ready to spread their wings and fly. Getting to watch that process take place is something I don't regret for one minute!! :)

Here! here! I totally agree with you and couldn't have said it better, I wouldn't want to miss one moment of them growing up. And to think that some parents can't wait to ship their kids off to a warehouse so some stranger and raise them for them!

Laina
01-27-2011, 01:42 PM
Laina,
I kind of giggled at how "right on" your predictions are. I'm 25 pounds heavier, my house is a disaster, and I'm as stressed as I've ever been. BUT, with all that said, I also feel like I am probably the most happy person I know. I get to spend 24/7 with the coolest human beings on the planet (my kiddos), and have watched them blossom from birth to very soon being ready to spread their wings and fly. Getting to watch that process take place is something I don't regret for one minute!! :)

Thanks, Topsy! :) I guess I know myself too well, but I can see how the benefits outweigh the drawbacks!

homeschmom24
01-27-2011, 03:36 PM
My doubts are that I may be too ambitious. Most people automatically assume
that as home schoolers my children are dumb, lazy and do nothing but play all day.
It was a lot worst when I lived in NC. A very small town where everybody knew everyone else
we were outsiders from the beginning and choosing to home school just seemed to cement
their negative feelings towards my children. So I often find myself pushing them harder than
I probably should to satisfy the status quo.

TamaraNC
01-27-2011, 04:24 PM
It was a lot worst when I lived in NC. A very small town where everybody knew everyone else we were outsiders from the beginning.

I voted for socialization, because of this exactly. Yankees in a small town in NC. We've lived here for 6 years but we're still "new" because 1) my grandparents weren't born here and 2) we're secular. DD had just one real friend from PS before she left last month, so that's not much to start with. Things seem to be looking up though now that we've found a secular/inclusive HSing group in the next town over. Fingers crossed!

Busygoddess
01-27-2011, 04:28 PM
I'm another with no doubts. I know I can give my kids a better education than public (or private) school could ever hope to provide. I know I can provide a rigorous, challenging, in-depth curriculum. I know I can meet their needs. They have friends, play with neighborhood kids, and can converse easily with people of any age, so I have no real concerns about socialization (though I admit to the occassional passing thought that they need more social outlets). I know my limits when it comes to patience, and we take a break before I lose it (or try to, anyway). I have no concerns about my ability to teach any subject, because even if it's a subject I know little or nothing about (like Latin), I have the skills to find materials that will allow me to help the kids learn it (while also increasing my knowledge & understanding) or will allow them to learn it independently. I (usually)don't worry about not doing enough because I know they are doing so much more than public school would allow (much less require), and we are working toward MY standards, not the school district's standards (and mine are much, much higher). I'm not concerned that I require too much or am pushing too hard, because I expect my kids to do their best & a lot of what we add in is at their request. Besides, I don't push. I set expectations & requirements and it's up to the kids to meet them. They work at their own pace. I have a rule that, once we start grading a course (we don't do grades at all before 5th-6th grade level work, then gradually add in grades & tests so they get used to them), they have to get a B (80%) or higher to pass. Anything below a B means that they A) didn't fully comprehend the work, therefore need to do it again to master it or B) did not put in effort and therefore need to redo it because laziness is not acceptable.
I've never doubted my ability to meet the kids needs or to offer an excellent, well-rounded education. I'm great with budgeting & will always find a way to afford homeschooling. Even if I have to get a job working nights & weekends to make ends meet and give them the education they deserve, that's what I'll do. So, really there are no major doubts.

Now, I make changes often. If a material wasn't as good as I thought it would be or doesn't work for us, I'll find another way to do it. If our schedule isn't working, I'll switch it around to find one that works better. Not much of what I plan is set in stone - pretty much just the minimum requirements for graduation and the B or higher to pass, everything else is flexible. Since we're so flexible with everything, I find no reason to have doubts. If I feel something isn't working or could be working better, I change it, instead of continuing to do something that would cause me to doubt. Everyone has minor doubts that come on quickly & leave just as quickly. They tend to come on one of those days where the kids are really fighting or everyone seems to be in a mood. I simply don't allow those to stay. When those little thoughts creep in, I run through the list of my kids' achievements, the progress they've made in their weakest areas, or a quick mental comparison of what my kids are doing vs. what the public schools do. That quickly dispatches any thoughts that could turn to doubt. I also think it helps that I didn't start this journey under the delusion that it would be easy. I knew that providing my kids with an excellent, rigorous, well-rounded education was going to be a challenge. I started this journey knowing that it would take work, time, patience, research, and a deep understanding of my kids, their challenges, and how to meet their needs. Knowing all of that, I could not have started this if I had any real doubts about seeing it through to graduation.

rumbledolly
01-27-2011, 10:47 PM
I was worried mostly about not being able to afford to do this but since I read Laina's post I'm even more worried my butt is going to get bigger....I already resemble a weeble...sigh.

I wish we could have chosen more than one thing we worry about as I do worry about Math (I was a Lit Major - what do I know about Math???) though thankfully DH has taken over that task as he's a math genius. Socialization is another concern but not that much happened in PS so HS can't be any worse. I'm an extrovert so once we get through this crazy winter weather I'm sure it will get better.

QueenBee
01-28-2011, 05:25 PM
With four preteen daughters.... PATIENCE. lol. =)

Sam
01-28-2011, 10:59 PM
I voted patience. I can be a very patient person or someone who loses their patience at the drop of a hat. We don't start school before 9:30am because I KNOW I will snap if I haven't got my coffee in yet lol Bu really I worry that DD won't want to even bother learning something cause I yelled at her or some such thing.

I don't worry about socialization so much because I'm forcing myself to be a PART of our HS group. I am a total homebody who is totally happy at home. I love the internet cause I'm so much more comfortable talking to people here than IRL. But, for DD's sake, I am forcing myself to go. We do soccer every other week, I'm going to a mom's meeting next week, and we're starting the board game day too.

I do worry about being able to teach certain things too. Like French. I REALLY want my kids to be bilingual, it's very important in our area. I'm not as worried with DD1 cause she was in French Immersion from 4 yrs old until I pulled her in Nov. DD2 however will not go to school at all and I don't speak French at all. Neither does DH.

JinxieFox
01-29-2011, 10:31 AM
Right now, my concerns fall under "other". There are two - one is the very basic concern that my son isn't "performing at grade level". However, I don't worry about that too often.

The other is that my ex-husband, while very sweet and still my friend, is too lazy when he has our son! So my concern is that my son is not getting as consistent an education he was prior to the divorce - that is the same number of subjects daily, so that the lessons are not lost on him. What I have done to address this concern is to work out a shortened schedule for my son for the months he is with his father. During those 4 months (we were initially doing "exchanges" with our son every 6 months, but we feel that every 4 months is better for everybody, especially our son), my ex-husband is only expected to worry about reading, grammar, writing, and math - "the basics", as I call them. French or German is added if my husband likes and has the time.

When my son is with me, I add in the other subjects that I would normally do - history three times a week, science twice a week, French four times a week, and music, art and nature study once a week. I still worry that we won't accomplish "everything", especially since I have found that following "The Well-Trained Mind" closely worked really well for us! However, I am learning to relax and remember that my son is already self-directed when it comes to certain assignments and tasks. As he gets older, I will be able to ask my ex-husband to expect more of our son, and to know that my son will be able to do the work on his own.

floridamom
01-29-2011, 11:49 PM
There must be something wrong with me. :confused:

I don't have any doubts. I don't have any regrets. Does that mean I think I'm a perfect homeschooler who doesn't make mistakes? Not at all. And I have a graveyard of unused curriculum to prove it. ;) But I have no doubt that we're doing the right thing, and I'm not worried that we won't do it "right".

I love homeschooling. My kid is thankful he's homeschooled, even though he's never been to school (he has enough school friends to know he doesn't want to go). My husband thinks it's great. We all know it's the right thing for our family.

dbmamaz
01-30-2011, 11:12 AM
See, Kathy, I always wish I could feel that kind of confidence. I cant put on a piece of clothing in the morning or select what I'm eating for breakfast without doubting myself. I have learned to appreciate that all this thinking often makes me better prepared for things, but i've often wished for the peacefulness of just always believing I'm doing the right thing.

leav97
02-01-2011, 12:45 PM
My DH takes care of the socialization. I'm an introvert with anxiety issues. Having kids has actually improved this issues by forcing me to meet new people but, I don't enjoy it.

My bigger concern is patience. DD is not the easiest child to parent let alone teach. It's one of the reasons we homeschool.

Yarngoddess
02-01-2011, 04:44 PM
*Sigh* This is one poll I don't like to answer because, well, we all hate to talk about our inadequacies, real of imagined. My vote was "OTHER" My doubt comes from my own ability to trust my children's drive and desire to learn. I know my kids are smart, sweet and sensitive and they have a drive to learn, however there is always that doubt that I am doing them more harm than good by not pushing them or using a more classic/typical/normal approach to homeschooling.

elkhollow
02-01-2011, 06:32 PM
I picked patience. I sometimes wonder if I would be a better parent if I weren't with my kids all day. Sounds terrible, I know, but it's true. I would definitely be less stressed.

fbfamily111
02-02-2011, 04:14 AM
For me it's teach a particular subject. Math after 5th grade is scary for me, because I stopped paying attention to Math about then and never really progressed past Algebra. All the other subjects I feel confident I can manage unti lHigh School, then its online education. A close second, was everything else. like PP said, not so much doubting, but an issue for us/me. I also will just throw in the towel for the day occasionally. We live in a rural area with very little HS support or groups to join. Lack of "socialization" isn't a problem for me, I don't really like people (except you all, of course). The kids though are going stark raving mad (DD's words, not mine) for friends.

Fiddler
02-02-2011, 06:08 PM
My "other" doubt is the fear of not being consistent enough. I think I have the tendency to let things slide around here when life gets busy. And the next thing you know it's the end of May and we've only made it halfway (or a quarter of the way) through the history curriculum or the science book, or whatever. And I never have the strength to follow through on year-round homeschooling, as we live in a neighborhood full of school kids that ring our doorbell all summer long.

There is also that time for one's own passions thing that several of you guys mentioned above. When life gets busy, it's usually my busy-ness. So I do take time for my own interests, but at the expense of my kids' education, it seems.

I'm also afraid of not exposing my kids to enough ideas, areas of interest, etc., as my kids are introverts (some more than others, but all would be happy to stay home pretty much all the time). If Jazz doesn't get into the charter school that he's on a waiting list for, we will have to make getting him "out there" one of our goals for homeschooling next year.

arenas3651
02-03-2011, 03:35 AM
*Sigh* This is one poll I don't like to answer because, well, we all hate to talk about our inadequacies, real of imagined. My vote was "OTHER" My doubt comes from my own ability to trust my children's drive and desire to learn. I know my kids are smart, sweet and sensitive and they have a drive to learn, however there is always that doubt that I am doing them more harm than good by not pushing them or using a more classic/typical/normal approach to homeschooling.

That's one of my concerns as well! I have an eclectic and child led approach to teaching my kids, and while I may have certain things planned out for the day/week, it doesn't always pan out that way. I go with the flow around here, but I always "try" to squeeze in our core subjects. My other concern, is that I'm not capable of meeting the needs of my boys. Were still in the process of testing one, but pretty sure he has dyslexia. He struggles with reading, writing, and spelling, and I have not seen any progress so far this year. My older son is an Aspie (with a few other things I feel I can handle), but I fear I'm not meeting his socialization needs all the way. Am I intervening in his play too much/ not enough?

I just worry whether I'm doing all that I can to meet their special needs. I take them to all of their appointments, do my own research, and ask their doctors tons of questions. But, I still feel inadequate.

outskirtsofbs
02-03-2011, 08:09 AM
Definitely, socialization. DD nevers sees anyone. I worry about her looking back on her childhood and seeing it empty. She now suffers from depression, I'm sure.....she sleeps so much more...like she doesn't want to get up because there isn't anything to get up for. I'm going to place another ad trying to start a HS support group here in town. The only other alternative is one that is 25 miles away one way. She needs a friend here. *sigh*

kewb22
02-03-2011, 08:55 AM
My doubts stem from my fears that my children won't get into the colleges of their choice because I did not teach them adequately. I sometimes doubt that homescholing is the right decision. In my heart I know I am doing the right things. I know they are learning. I know that even with the areas I am feel I am failing in they are still getting a superior education. It is difficult to go agianst the norm. Sending them to school is normal. I have to remind myself that just because my childrens experiences are different from mine does not mean they are missing out on something.

polishirishmomma
02-06-2011, 02:43 PM
Math! I was a high school dropout and never went to college. For many years I allowed people to make me feel bad about that. Then i woke up or grew up and said.. That does not define how smart I am or who I am. I think we can all teach our kids on any educational level because if nothing else I have you all and the internet. Without the internet I don't know if i would feel confident enough specially in math the bane of my existence.

It took me a long time to accept that I wasn't good at math. It affected me in other subjects like Biology because I thought I couldn't figure out the math side of science. Little did I know that putting the two together helped me to understand math more. Then my husband came along and helped me understand math by taking the time to find out how it was easiest for me to learn. I would never let it bother me again. When I have a complicated problem or a math lesson that I can't explain well to my kids, I go to him. When he needs a science question or english question answered, he comes to me. We all have our talents. The trick is letting go of ones we don't have.

dbmamaz
02-06-2011, 09:24 PM
We all have our talents. The trick is letting go of ones we don't have.
Its pretty hard to let go of housekeeping, tho, when you are the only one who is even remotely willing to do it. sigh.

Batgirl
02-06-2011, 10:22 PM
Its pretty hard to let go of housekeeping, tho, when you are the only one who is even remotely willing to do it. sigh.

Yeah, we just got a housekeeper and I looooooove it! I don't know how long we'll be able to afford them, though.

dbmamaz
02-06-2011, 11:41 PM
Yeah, before I quit work I was seriously considering getting one. I cant stomach it on one salary . . .and certainly not on NO salary! Tho dh pointed out that, between paycheck lag and vacation days, he probably still has 2 full paychecks coming.

Pefa
02-07-2011, 10:07 AM
Cara you wrote my words - right now I don't have doubts as much as real concerns that I need to figure out a way to address. We all grow up, some of us some stuff some of us know other stuff some of us like NASCAR some of us like Bela Fleck or Bach (some of us like all of the above). The way I look at it, as long as you aren't denying another person their choices (which covers a multitude of sins from the horrific - raising an axe murderer - to minor - raising a child unable to support herself or be a good partner) the rest is details. I'm lucky in that I have two litters of kids, I like my big kids (and they like me) so I don't see any big reason to change my style.

The issue is that while my style is the same, the setting isn't. Living where we live worked for the boys when they were young but as they get older their needs are changing and either hubby has to decide that they're important enough to put ahead of his needs (he's kinda famous for disappearing - literally and figuratively- when things get tough) or I need to move.

Gotta go help BOO email an author (he loves emailing authors, some, like Philip Pullman ar kind enough to think about his questions and write back).

nvhsmom
02-08-2011, 02:17 AM
I'm mostly worried about making sure he's getting everything he needs out of his education. Probably a pretty common thing to worry about the "gaps". I also worry about teaching a lot of the upper math and science to him. Math wasn't exactly my thing back in school, now I'm kicking myself for not trying harder myself! I just have to keep telling myself that there are a lot of resourses out there for us!

Darwinmom
02-10-2011, 01:15 PM
Other was my answer. I constantly doubt that my children are getting what they need. This doubt mainly stems from the constant comparisons that other moms bring into your conversations. "Is you dd or ds doing this? No, oh my don't you worry about standardized testing, blah, blah blah?" I do take the testing into consideration but it does not rule our lives like it did in public school. Those tests were one of the things that killed my love of teaching in schools. I know my kids are doing great, but then here comes Mrs. Doubt!