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sarahjoy
12-02-2010, 08:42 PM
Hi,
I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and I wanted to get some of your opinions. My son is five and will start kindergarten next year. Right now we have him in a private preschool/elementary school and we could either keep him in that school next year or put him in public school. The private school is pretty good but expensive and our local public school is rated as the top in the state according to the testing. Testing aside, everyone I know whose children go there seems to like it and say it's a good school.

Really, I think my son would get a pretty good education at either of these schools. However, the closer it gets to making some sort of decision the more I want to keep him with me and homeschool...at least for a year or two. I am a former public school teacher and now part time college instructor. I've started him on a sort of afterschooling program to see if I can do it and we like it, and so far we both seem to be doing well. My son is learning much more than he has been at school, and I find it fun to teach him.

My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school. That's my issue. Not his. He says he wants to stay home with me, and I believe it. But he's also perfectly happy in his school and does fine. He is an only child and art, gym, swimming classes aside...I think it's hard to form serious friendships with kids you only see once a week.

I was following the thread about why people homeschool and I just wondered if anyone felt this way. Usually it seems like people secular homeschool because they don't think the schools are doing a good job or because they don't like the values or because their children have special needs. But what about when it isn't any of those things? It's just that you don't want to have your family fall into the neat little cog that most people's families seem to?

If you've read this far...thanks. :)

Hampchick
12-03-2010, 05:06 PM
Hi Sarah, welcome!

I can totally relate to that feeling. I hesitate to give too much advice but I can tell you that I felt the same way. My son went to kindy and first grade in a highly rated district. He did well and loved school. I have lots of reasons for homeschooling but they all seem to boil down to my dislike for traditional education. It felt wrong somehow for me to impose that on him. Now it feels wrong to impose someone else's idea of what an education has to be and not follow my own instincts. Total 180 for us.

You've obviously thought a lot about this, it seems to be something you value and your son sounds willing. I don't think you need to have any more reason than that.

Stella M
12-03-2010, 05:49 PM
Yes, I can relate :) My eldest daughter went to school for 6 months in Kindergarten and among the things I didn't like was feeling that 'school' now ran our lives. I felt like I was a servant of the school timetable and my role was reduced to supporting what the school wanted - getting her there on time, making sure reading and homework was done, packing the lunches, washing the uniforms, keeping quiet about what happened in school, raising funds...I felt that I was missing out on one of the best parts of our relationship, which was learning and exploring the world together. Truly, I felt I had done the hard yards of raising a baby/toddler and just when things were getting fun, I was supposed to hand her over to other people to have that fun ??!!

There were other factors in our decision to take her out of school but the issue you raised was one of them. If she had been happy in school I may not have placed so much weight on my own feelings and tried to get over myself. Then again...

Good luck in making your decision - if it helps, this random stranger thinks your reasons for considering homeschooling are valid!

AddlepatedMonkeyMama
12-03-2010, 06:26 PM
YES! Sometimes I feel like we opened a door and stepped out into a new, bigger world when we started homeschooling this year!

When my son was in kindergarten last year (at a good school with a wonderful, veteran teacher), I found myself chafing at some of the rules. Some of them made sense, given that there were 22 kids crammed into a small classroom. We decided to home school because we felt like the school, no matter how well-intentioned, could not meet his needs (ADHD, possible autism spectrum, and at least a year ahead of his peers in reading and math). But homeschooling is liberating in SO many ways. My son doesn't have to learn the same things as other kids in the same way or at the same time. I can give him more individual attention in a day than he'd get in a month at school. And I feel like he's learned more in the first month of homeschooling than he did all of last year because it is so much more efficient than a classroom full of kids and he can work at his own level. And he can wiggle and babble and sing to his heart's delight.

And, by golly, no wrapping paper sales, Scholastic Book Club crap, permission slips, teacher conferences, special drop off procedures for various weather conditions, teacher gift fund collections, blah blah blah!

jennykay
12-03-2010, 06:43 PM
Sarah, I feel very similarly. My dd is nearly 6 and I must say that one of our main reasons for homeschooling was the desire to live our lives as we see fit - and not be subjected to the rules/time constraints/etc of public school. It is so much more relaxing to know we can set our own schedule and adjust when we're having a particularly good or bad day. We'll see what each year brings but I really can't see us going back to that unless something significant happened in our lives to force it.

Kylie
12-03-2010, 06:52 PM
Completely agree with Melissa here. We triluy can do what we want when we want and it is a wonderful feeling!


Yes, I can relate :) My eldest daughter went to school for 6 months in Kindergarten and among the things I didn't like was feeling that 'school' now ran our lives. I felt like I was a servant of the school timetable and my role was reduced to supporting what the school wanted - getting her there on time, making sure reading and homework was done, packing the lunches, washing the uniforms, keeping quiet about what happened in school, raising funds...I felt that I was missing out on one of the best parts of our relationship, which was learning and exploring the world together. Truly, I felt I had done the hard yards of raising a baby/toddler and just when things were getting fun, I was supposed to hand her over to other people to have that fun ??!!

There were other factors in our decision to take her out of school but the issue you raised was one of them. If she had been happy in school I may not have placed so much weight on my own feelings and tried to get over myself. Then again...

Good luck in making your decision - if it helps, this random stranger thinks your reasons for considering homeschooling are valid!

Teri
12-03-2010, 07:30 PM
I absolutely agree with your sentiments. I don't think it was what initially pulled me to homeschool, but I definitely feel that way now.
Personally, my kids don't get much say in whether they stay home or not (at least not at the kindergarten, early elementary level). As they get older, their feelings might play more into the decision making. I say this to say that YOUR issue IS his issue. It's a completely valid reason to keep him home. :)

Emerald
12-03-2010, 08:05 PM
There are many reasons why I chose to homeschool, but I can tell you a big reason I will continue to homeschool is that I despise being told that I can't take my son out of school for a fun field trip or to see his family, because it interferes with them. I don't like waking up early, battling for many minutes over everything, fighting, arguing, and rushing out the door. I have a job in which I work nights and the school does not fit into my schedule or my priorities.

I like my freedom and the fact that I can give my son a better education while I also maintain my freedom is a huge draw.

Stages
12-03-2010, 08:11 PM
The reasons everyone listed above me are pretty much the exact reasons I plan on homeschooling my daughter.

MarkInMD
12-03-2010, 08:23 PM
We pulled Hurricane last November after 1st quarter of 2nd grade for several of the above listed reasons (he was doing well academically and the school was one of the top 3 in the county for test scores, but he wasn't relating to his peers -- possible Asperger's). Another reason was that we saw what was coming down the line when middle school and high school hit. Both of those schools are, shall we say, less than safe and welcoming environments -- bomb threats, racial fights, drugs, lots of bad stuff. We were quite nervous about sending our children there in 6th grade, and when we saw the writing on the wall for his socialization problems, we figured it was time, since one of us is always at home during the day to do the teaching. In other words, we were thinking both short-term and long-term. Tornado is still in Headstart and pre-K there for the moment but will probably come home for kindergarten next year.

I do love the freedom of not having to be stuck with the school's schedule, and I'm sure I'll love it more when both of them are out of there! But I would say that figuring out what your child truly wants will help both them and you be satisfied with your decision. Good luck!

elkhollow
12-03-2010, 08:49 PM
Oh, I hated all that, too! The morning rush which was usually unpleasant, the guilt of the unpleasantness lingering all day, missing my sweet girl for those long hours, resenting that what little time I did have with her in the afternoons was full of homework and hating that the last thing she wanted to do after being confined to a classroom all day was sit on the couch and read with me, which we used to do for hours (and are now able to do again). The fun and educational trips pretty much came to an end-there was no longer time to go to the zoo because the weekend was spent playing catch up for the up-coming week. I started feeling that the school was robbing us of our very lives, institutionalizing us. My daughter is the one who asked if we could return to homeschooling. Then the other day she was feeling very sad because she was thinking about her school friends. She never sees them anymore because she was going to public school in another state. She said she wishes she could have friends like that again bc seeing kids once a week isn't the same. She's lonely. Having a four year old brother to play with isn't the same as having your choice of same-age girls to play with. Sigh.

shanajo
12-03-2010, 09:22 PM
Yes, I can relate :) My eldest daughter went to school for 6 months in Kindergarten and among the things I didn't like was feeling that 'school' now ran our lives. I felt like I was a servant of the school timetable and my role was reduced to supporting what the school wanted - getting her there on time, making sure reading and homework was done, packing the lunches, washing the uniforms, keeping quiet about what happened in school, raising funds...I felt that I was missing out on one of the best parts of our relationship, which was learning and exploring the world together. Truly, I felt I had done the hard yards of raising a baby/toddler and just when things were getting fun, I was supposed to hand her over to other people to have that fun ??!!

There were other factors in our decision to take her out of school but the issue you raised was one of them. If she had been happy in school I may not have placed so much weight on my own feelings and tried to get over myself. Then again...

Good luck in making your decision - if it helps, this random stranger thinks your reasons for considering homeschooling are valid!

Yes, yes, yes! And not only did the school and the teachers run our lives, but so did the other students with all of the peer pressure to have this, go there, buy this, etc. I was so frustrated by schools dictating when our family could take a vacation and dictating how much family time we could have in the evenings because of the amount of homework our kids would get sent home with them.

To the original poster: one of the best things about homeschooling for us is the fact that we now have full control over our lives. We decide when we are going to do things and how. We decide what our children will learn and how they will be educated. We don't have to conform to anyone else's system or beliefs. And thankfully in our state we are considering a private school so we don't even have to do the standardized testing.

We have a lot of reasons for homeschooling, but one of the main reasons is definitely wanting to be ourselves without all of these outside pressures of society telling us who we should be and how we should live our lives. We want our children to grow up being independent thinkers and while some public and private schools may be good schools, I firmly believe that few do much to help children develop independent, critical thinking skills.

shanajo
12-03-2010, 09:29 PM
Ashley, my 9 year old daughter is having the same feelings. She really likes homeschooling, but she misses her friends and she longs for the daily interactions that she had with her friends in ps. It's been one of the top two hardest things about homeschooling for us. Thankfully my other children are doing well with the social changes that have some with homeschooling, but it's been hard with our oldest. She is a very social being and we've had a hard time making friends in the homeschool community here.

Tonight my 9 year old is at a birthday party with 9 of her ps friends. I am so happy with her that she was invited to go and she was incredibly excited to see her friends. However, I'm worried that she's going to come home feeling even worse about not getting to see them everyday. :-(

laundrycrisis
12-03-2010, 11:07 PM
Not being in the system is a huge part of the appeal of homeschooling to me. I do not like the idea of my young kids being scheduled 5 days a week, for the best of their waking hours, to participate in a government-run anything. I do not like the idea of the school system determining when they can have a break, a vacation, or the afternoon off. I do not like the idea of a school system deciding what they should learn, and when, and how. I love the freedom of homeschooling.

camaro
12-04-2010, 09:20 AM
Wow, I share so many of the sentiments written of here. We originally started homeschooling when the school division was planning to close our small rural school but many of the reasons mentioned here were reasons we "learned" of after. Our oldest, Mitchell, was the only one in school at the time and he is soooooo not a morning person. We were fortunate that his school bus pickup time was the last one at about 8:30am but even that was hard to wake him for (usually getting him up at 7:30am). Being a slave to the bus was one of our biggest "learned" reasons. I often relate a story of school bus slavery when people ask about why we homeschool. I take off-farm work driving my semi truck to haul hay bales for other nearby farmers. I was hauling for a neighbor from a field maybe 15 miles from home. Their front-end loader tractor got stuck and the tractor they brought to pull it out stalled and wouldn't start again. Suddenly it's time for me to head home to meet the school bus as my wife is at work. So I have to head home empty to pick up Mitchell. This neighbor's farm yard is right beside ours so usually I can just stick around after unloading to grab the kids when I need to. So anyway, I'm glad to be done with that.

Secondly, I also detested the seemingly endless string of fund raising or activities that nickel-and-dime us to death. Or the spirit days when they dress up to some kind of theme (pajama day or favorite-sports-team days or whatever). Mitchell usually hated that. He never wanted to wear jammies to school and his favorite sport was Formula 1 racing so he had no sports appararel (at least until I found him a Lewis Hamilton hat on ebay).

Mitchell has on several occasions told us he misses his friends, which is doubly sad because most of his friends have moved away so even if he went back to public school he'd still be missing a few of them. And since we're way out in the country without any homeschool friends nearby it's hard for him to make new friends (which he does easily when he meets new kids). He has made some through his gymnastics and swimming classes, though. Just a couple of days ago was the last swimming lesson of this session which he takes in a nearby city (nearby for us being 60 miles away) with the homeschool group there and his close friend there was away sick. His brother told Mitchell how this other kid was sad that he couldn't be there to say goodbye to Mitchell! There's a special bond between Mitchell and this boy because they learned they share the exact same birthdate!

Shoe
12-04-2010, 10:00 AM
Hi,
I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and I wanted to get some of your opinions. My son is five and will start kindergarten next year. Right now we have him in a private preschool/elementary school and we could either keep him in that school next year or put him in public school. The private school is pretty good but expensive and our local public school is rated as the top in the state according to the testing. Testing aside, everyone I know whose children go there seems to like it and say it's a good school.

Really, I think my son would get a pretty good education at either of these schools. However, the closer it gets to making some sort of decision the more I want to keep him with me and homeschool...at least for a year or two. I am a former public school teacher and now part time college instructor. I've started him on a sort of afterschooling program to see if I can do it and we like it, and so far we both seem to be doing well. My son is learning much more than he has been at school, and I find it fun to teach him.

My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school. That's my issue. Not his. He says he wants to stay home with me, and I believe it. But he's also perfectly happy in his school and does fine. He is an only child and art, gym, swimming classes aside...I think it's hard to form serious friendships with kids you only see once a week.

I was following the thread about why people homeschool and I just wondered if anyone felt this way. Usually it seems like people secular homeschool because they don't think the schools are doing a good job or because they don't like the values or because their children have special needs. But what about when it isn't any of those things? It's just that you don't want to have your family fall into the neat little cog that most people's families seem to?

If you've read this far...thanks. :)

That's not one of the reasons that we decided to homeschool, but I certainly see it as one of the advantages of homeschooling. I work shift work in a hospital emergency department that has to provide services 24/7/365, meaning that it is hard for me to schedule vacations, trips, events for the family around the traditional public school calender and hours. I don't find it easy to arrange to have the same days off or even the same hours off as my kids. I could go on and on about scheduling and arguments with the schools when I have taken my kids out to coincide with my vacation rather than school vacation, as well as so many other ways in which the school system seems to try to interfere with how I raise my kids, what, how and when they learn, etc.

But I won't. Suffice it to say that I find it a great advantage to have the kids at home for so many reasons.

Shoe
12-04-2010, 10:08 AM
Secondly, I also detested the seemingly endless string of fund raising or activities that nickel-and-dime us to death. Or the spirit days when they dress up to some kind of theme (pajama day or favorite-sports-team days or whatever). Mitchell usually hated that. He never wanted to wear jammies to school and his favorite sport was Formula 1 racing so he had no sports appararel (at least until I found him a Lewis Hamilton hat on ebay).David, I completely share that sentiment. I especially hate how they send home these products to sell, but advise that the children don't go door to door to sell them. Instead, "ask your parents to take them to work". First, I absolutely hate trying to sell people overpriced crap that they wouldn't normally buy. Second, my employer has a policy forbidding such sales in the workplace. Third, I don't think it teaches the kids anything valuable (though I recognize the dangers of door to door selling these days). Fourth, it would be much more efficient to simply give the amount of money the school needs, since I feel blackmailed into buying whatever the quantity of crap they have set as a quota, paying double what the school actually gets out of it, so that my kids get whatever bit of praise the school deems appropriate for their parents' work. Total bullsh*t, if you ask me. And that's on top of already ridiculous property taxes that are supposed to fund the public school system, so hopefully they wouldn't make our kids blackmailers and beggars. Oh, I'm so happy the kids are no longer there.

MarkInMD
12-04-2010, 10:38 AM
The last year Hurricane was in PS, they did a Reader's Digest magazine fund raiser. They had hundreds of magazines to order from, so my wife and I got some friends and relatives to buy them. But magazines weren't sent directly to the house -- you got certificates with a code to go online and redeem them. Not only that, most of the titles people ordered were not the ones on the certificate. I still laugh at my mom getting Hot Rod instead of Reader's Digest. However, that convinced us never to do school fundraisers again. Shoe summed it up very well.

camaro
12-04-2010, 10:59 AM
David, I completely share that sentiment. I especially hate how they send home these products to sell, but advise that the children don't go door to door to sell them. Instead, "ask your parents to take them to work". First, I absolutely hate trying to sell people overpriced crap that they wouldn't normally buy. Second, my employer has a policy forbidding such sales in the workplace. Third, I don't think it teaches the kids anything valuable (though I recognize the dangers of door to door selling these days). Fourth, it would be much more efficient to simply give the amount of money the school needs, since I feel blackmailed into buying whatever the quantity of crap they have set as a quota, paying double what the school actually gets out of it, so that my kids get whatever bit of praise the school deems appropriate for their parents' work. Total bullsh*t, if you ask me. And that's on top of already ridiculous property taxes that are supposed to fund the public school system, so hopefully they wouldn't make our kids blackmailers and beggars. Oh, I'm so happy the kids are no longer there.

Anybody want to buy some cookie dough? Got a few pails in the freezer! Ugh...what's doubly stupid is when the school just got done with the cookie dough fundraiser, our gymnastics club started the same one! Sorry, but that well is dry!

sarahjoy
12-04-2010, 11:46 AM
Thanks for all of the responses! I guess my feelings weren't so strange after all. Actually, I knew they were not really strange because most of the people I know who have had kids entering kindergarten this year seemed to feel the same way too. But they just did not feel that homeschooling was for them. But they were all somewhat sad that they had lost some of the family freedoms that come with having young children and seem to go away as kids enter the school system.

Melissa, I really related to what you said. I was not one of those moms who loved parenting a baby or small child. I loved my son, but I found it a little dull and tedious. But as my son has gotten older, I love being with him more and more. Now, just as you said, it's like he's finally getting REALLY fun to be around and talk to and learn with and I'm supposed to ship him off and let someone else have all the fun?

We're trying an afterschooling program right now, which seems to be going well, basically doing kindergarten level work. I'm using it as a test to see if he likes it and if I like it, or get totally sick of it and frustrated. I plan to give it a few months and then see what he's learned and if it's working for us.

Thanks for your responses. I don't know if it will be our choice in the end or not. It's a scary choice and if we choose it I know we will have a lot of people question us--including possibly ourselves. So I'm taking this slowly.

dottieanna29
12-04-2010, 08:39 PM
David, I completely share that sentiment. I especially hate how they send home these products to sell, but advise that the children don't go door to door to sell them. Instead, "ask your parents to take them to work". First, I absolutely hate trying to sell people overpriced crap that they wouldn't normally buy. Second, my employer has a policy forbidding such sales in the workplace. Third, I don't think it teaches the kids anything valuable (though I recognize the dangers of door to door selling these days). Fourth, it would be much more efficient to simply give the amount of money the school needs, since I feel blackmailed into buying whatever the quantity of crap they have set as a quota, paying double what the school actually gets out of it, so that my kids get whatever bit of praise the school deems appropriate for their parents' work. Total bullsh*t, if you ask me. And that's on top of already ridiculous property taxes that are supposed to fund the public school system, so hopefully they wouldn't make our kids blackmailers and beggars. Oh, I'm so happy the kids are no longer there.

My oldest is in public school and they don't do these types of fund raisers. Instead each year we pay a $75 activities fee which covers all the things that those fund raisers usually do. Specific clubs and groups sometimes do separate fund raisers but it will be along the lines of bake sales, car washes, poinsetta sales, etc. No wrapping paper or overpriced chocolates. I love it.

Isabel
12-05-2010, 09:24 AM
Hi SarahJoy, I don't think there's anything wrong with your feeling that home schooling would be a good option. You seem to be saying that since your child would likely do OK in school, there's no reason to home educate. But that is coming from the paradigm that says institutionalized education is normal, natural and good. What if you looked at it the other way? He'd be OK at home, so there's no reason to send him to school. In addition, there may well be more to your gut feeling than you're articulating at this early stage. As far as social life concerns go, could I humbly suggest that you read The Well-Adjusted Child - the Social Benefits of Homeschooling by Rachel Gethercole for a reminder of many reasons why the socialization concern is usually unfounded.

InstinctiveMom
12-05-2010, 06:03 PM
My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. (snip)But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school. That's my issue. (snip) But what about when it isn't any of those things? It's just that you don't want to have your family fall into the neat little cog that most people's families seem to?

Hi SarahJoy! Welcome to the forums!
What you said here is something I can definitely relate to. We had 2.5 years of 'school' (a really GOOD school) under our belt when we pulled the boys out. Though wanting more freedom wasn't our primary reason for homeschooling, it was among the top 5. When my boys were in school, because we were active in their school and because we wanted to best academic opportunities for our kids, school DID, very much, run our lives. So much so that by the time summer rolled around, we all needed that 3 month break in order to prepare to do it all again the next school year.

I think that homeschooling in order to meet your family's needs is a perfectly acceptable reason to stay away from the institutional school system. If I had it to do over again, I'd have opted for homeschooling from day one, I think. One of the things that you overlooked is that those of us who have pulled our kids OUT of school in order to homeschool means that our kids were subjected to a less than ideal environment for some time (because presumably, we each tried to work within the system to fix any kinks, and were unsuccessful - the kids kinda muddled through while we played the game...) before we ultimately decided that homeschooling was the best option. I'd spare my kids that if I could.

Only YOU can make the decision that is best for your family. Have confidence in that... an if you decide later on that you want to do something different, well, you can! :)


Yes, I can relate. (snip) among the things I didn't like was feeling that 'school' now ran our lives. I felt like I was a servant of the school timetable and my role was reduced to supporting what the school wanted - getting her there on time, making sure reading and homework was done, packing the lunches, washing the uniforms, keeping quiet about what happened in school, raising funds...I felt that I was missing out on one of the best parts of our relationship, which was learning and exploring the world together. Truly, I felt I had done the hard yards of raising a baby/toddler and just when things were getting fun, I was supposed to hand her over to other people to have that fun ??!! There were other factors in our decision to take her out of school but the issue you raised was one of them. (snip) if it helps, this random stranger thinks your reasons for considering homeschooling are valid!

This, too! Well said, Melissa!


YES! Sometimes I feel like we opened a door and stepped out into a new, bigger world when we started homeschooling this year! When my son was in kindergarten (snip) I found myself chafing at some of the rules. Some of them made sense, given that there were 22 kids crammed into a small classroom. (snip) But homeschooling is liberating in SO many ways. My son doesn't have to learn the same things as other kids in the same way or at the same time. I can give him more individual attention in a day than he'd get in a month at school. And I feel like he's learned more in the first month of homeschooling than he did all of last year because it is so much more efficient than a classroom full of kids and he can work at his own level. And he can wiggle and babble and sing to his heart's delight.
And, by golly, no wrapping paper sales, Scholastic Book Club crap, permission slips, teacher conferences, special drop off procedures for various weather conditions, teacher gift fund collections, blah blah blah!

LOL - oh, yes to all of this, too. I can relate to the rules and individual attention thing so much as well. Excellent points raised.


There are many reasons why I chose to homeschool, but I can tell you a big reason I will continue to homeschool is that I despise being told that I can't take my son out of school for a fun field trip or to see his family, because it interferes with them. I don't like waking up early, battling for many minutes over everything, fighting, arguing, and rushing out the door. (snip)

We always had attendance issues... I think most school is a glorified day-care system, esp in the younger grades. There were weeks when half the days were spent watching DVDs (teachers actually asked parents to send them!!) - I wasn't sending my kid to school to watch TV, but staying home on those days was not considered an 'excused' absence. I know... I'm as baffled by that as you are ;)
~h

Kell
12-09-2010, 09:43 PM
Honestly, I had decided to homeschool when we lived in a questionable school district, and put it out of my mind for a while when we moved here. Our local public school system here is regularly rated as one of the best in the country. But, three things pushed me back toward homeschooling. 1) My son has a very short attention span if you don't know just the right way to engage him. It didn't seem productive to send him to regular school and have him labelled a "bad" kid because he's a bit of a fidget. 2) I met a lot of the kids he would have been going to school with. And, well, I did not want him spending 7+ hours a day with some of them! 3) The schedule. Yes. We like to be able to go and do things on a whim. Some days just don't feel like "sit at a desk" days. Some days feel like "let's hop on the Metro and head to the museums" days. I love that I can take full advantage of my sons current interests to maximize his learning.

I think the bottom line is that if you feel it is a valid reason to homeschool, then it is a valid reason to homeschool. You know your child and your family best, and no one can decide what they need better than you can.

Kristin

Cactus
12-14-2010, 11:27 AM
I feel the same way and "the system" is what my husband and I despise. We balk at ALL government systems - the schools, health insurance, TV/media/video games, we eat ALL organic and no junk...We find it VERY difficult (actually, impossible) to meet people who think like we do. Our kids' friends are the opposite of them - they are obsessed with TV, video games, junk food...and my son's friends are liars, pyromaniacs, into violent TV shows and games, it's absolutely horrible.

We want to preserve the innocence and beautiful creativity of our kids and are seriously thinking of homeschooling. The effects from the bus ride, the school day, and their "friends" is taking a toll on us and we're so ready to make this leap. We've just ditched our cable, detoxed our house of the stinky chemicals in cleansers, soaps, shampoos, we've always refused to buy any junk and encourage healthy fruits and veggies (or treats made with all whole wheat or organic ingredients)...This is not really major for us, though it might sound extreme to some. We're just purists; naturalists.

We see the scams, the toxic society and want no part of it. This thread is what prompted me to register. As for the school, we hate the chaos before and after school, that we have to subject ourselves to the school schedule, our kids getting their precious brains jammed with too much intellectual facts and not enough creative play, art and music. The homework is way too much and it interferes with family and play time. THe kids break down in tears because they want to play instead of do homework. It just breaks my heart. I can write about so many other (darker) reasons why we dislike the public school (and anything to do with the government) but for now, I'll stick to this! I'm totally with ya!!!

jujsky
12-17-2010, 12:51 AM
Keeping out of the system isn't the primary reason we homeschool (I have issues with NCLB) but it is one of the reasons. I think public schools have become far too involved in the family. I don't want all of the homework -- especially ridiculous busy-work -- infringing on our family time.

Tammera
12-19-2010, 01:14 PM
A little late with the reply, but thought I'd chime in. In short, I agree with what has been previously posted. My reasons for homeschooling originally stemmed from inefficient teaching and the lack of resources and programs for twice exceptional/special education students. However, the list grew as I started really thinking about homeschooling during my "should I do this or not" phase. :) My reasons ranged from "she's not learning anything in school" to "all they're teaching is towards her doing a good job on the state testing" (ergo: NCLB baloney) Since we started homeschooling, so many more reasons have shed their positive light: No more fundraisers and pushing to participate in "eat here tonight to benefit" programs. (Now, my money is used on items that are specifically beneficial to her!) If she is sick, I don't have to acquire doctor's notes just so that she can acquire her missed work, and the stress of figuring out the how, where and when of making THAT up is done and over with. Flexibility: Soooo much more of it. If we get up and decide and take a day trip to serve as a supplement for a topic she is working on, we do it. Her learning and comprehension of what she is learning has blossomed with the ability to visit zoos, museums, live theater, nature centers, etc. as often as may be necessary. Homeschooling flexibility has allowed for a true "multi modality" teaching approach. I also have the freedom to work what I think is important to her, and her future, into her curricular studies. Much of what I feel is important for her to learn was not taught in a PS. I am not able to remedy that. I am really glad I followed my gut and pulled her from the PS to homeschool.

Follow your heart and intuition. You'll make the right decision for you and your family! :)

Pilgrim
01-04-2011, 10:35 AM
My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child.

This is one of the biggest reasons why we're considering homeschooling. We sent our daughter to school this morning, and once again it was anxiety-filled, rushed, argumentative, and negative. And then I think, "Wouldn't it be great if we decided one day to just drive to the ocean, and didn't have to worry about calling the school or her falling behind in her homework?"

We are who we are as a family, and it seems public school is getting in the way of that more and more.

Cactus
01-04-2011, 11:19 AM
Hey, Pilgrim!

I agree with you totally! Just knowing I must make the kids' lunches (because the cafeteria food is pure junk), make sure all homework is done & signed, make sure nothing else needs to be signed, rush to get them up, fed, hair & teeth brushed, dressed...then suddenly one wants to paint...then finally out the door.

My son is coming home with the most ridiculous homework and it's happened that the parents need to do more for the homework and projects (like buying materials...) than the child does...the PTA notices, just the fact that we can't travel to see family except on weekends, or go fishing or boating (weather dependent) whenever we want like on a beautiful Monday spring morning...We're in Cape May so I hear you on the ocean thing.

My husband and I are total free spirits. He works by himself - his own construction company. I've been a SAHM and soon will be HSing my two kids - like probably starting next Monday. We need to do what WE want, when we want to. Public school definitely gets in the way - all those rules if a kid misses a day or two; rules about dropping off or picking up your kid; rules about how to dress...I could go on and on.

Cactus
01-04-2011, 11:19 AM
this deleted post was a duplicate (got an error)

MamaB2C
01-04-2011, 06:52 PM
My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school.

The first thing that got me looking at homeschooling was the draconian attendance policies. I HATE that the school can dictate our schedule under the power of law enforcement. It just usurps my role as parent and decision maker, you know?

shanajo
01-05-2011, 09:31 PM
This is one of the biggest reasons why we're considering homeschooling. We sent our daughter to school this morning, and once again it was anxiety-filled, rushed, argumentative, and negative. And then I think, "Wouldn't it be great if we decided one day to just drive to the ocean, and didn't have to worry about calling the school or her falling behind in her homework?"

We are who we are as a family, and it seems public school is getting in the way of that more and more.

Pilgrim, that is exactly how we felt before we decided to pull our kids from public school to homeschool. There was just so much negativity both for our kids at school and for us as a family, because of school. Homeschooling has been a breath of fresh air for us and we are enjoying it very much. Of course, it has been an adjustment and there have been some bumps along the way, but overall things are going great.

Good luck to you as your family discerns what to do with all of this!

shabish2002
01-09-2011, 02:22 AM
Hi,
I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and I wanted to get some of your opinions. My son is five and will start kindergarten next year. Right now we have him in a private preschool/elementary school and we could either keep him in that school next year or put him in public school. The private school is pretty good but expensive and our local public school is rated as the top in the state according to the testing. Testing aside, everyone I know whose children go there seems to like it and say it's a good school.

Really, I think my son would get a pretty good education at either of these schools. However, the closer it gets to making some sort of decision the more I want to keep him with me and homeschool...at least for a year or two. I am a former public school teacher and now part time college instructor. I've started him on a sort of afterschooling program to see if I can do it and we like it, and so far we both seem to be doing well. My son is learning much more than he has been at school, and I find it fun to teach him.

My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school. That's my issue. Not his. He says he wants to stay home with me, and I believe it. But he's also perfectly happy in his school and does fine. He is an only child and art, gym, swimming classes aside...I think it's hard to form serious friendships with kids you only see once a week.

I was following the thread about why people homeschool and I just wondered if anyone felt this way. Usually it seems like people secular homeschool because they don't think the schools are doing a good job or because they don't like the values or because their children have special needs. But what about when it isn't any of those things? It's just that you don't want to have your family fall into the neat little cog that most people's families seem to?

If you've read this far...thanks. :)

I always felt different than most homeschoolers because the ones I know seem to homeschool due to special needs of their child or extreme dislike of the public school system. My children have always loved school and did very well. I homeschool because I want to play a bigger part in what they learn, I enjoy being with my kids, and I dont like the schools telling me when and how often my child can stay out of school. I actually got a letter from them stating one of my children had unexcused absences (this is true, we took field trips when I felt like it) It made me so mad. The truth is once your kids go to public/private school, you will be at their mercy. That is just the truth, Your life will revolve around school and it's up to you if you want to subject your family to that. I know I didn't. Good luck with your decision

BrendaE
02-07-2011, 01:33 PM
I can come at this from the almost other end. We will begin high school in the fall. I had all of those reasons, and your reason.. and these are the things I found along the way. I have a very wonderful relationship with my TEENAGER. A parent gives birth, a teacher gives life.(Aristotle I believe?) There have been so many moments and so many things I have taught and learned from my own child. The largest of which is that our family is a close and loving one. Not that families who send their children to public school are not, but I truly feel we have a better connection and understanding between us. She has her own friends and things she does without me, but when the serious questions of life come up, she comes TO me before them. My wisdom holds more than her peers. The topics over the dinner table have ranged from how did Hitler get into and stay in power and what were the people thinking. To the genius of Da Vinci and how she doesnt see so many people today versed in so many different things. (Multiple genius). ... What I am saying is she engages in discussions that would never happen if she went to public school and by talking about these things and many more, we are that much more closer to eachother in a different way than the parent/child relationship of a public school type. As she has gotten older and I have given her more freedom of choice, which includes the option of Public High School, she has decided to remain home schooled. She has even asked that one day, when she is a parent herself, if I would be kind enough to home school HER future children. My heart melted.

higgledypiggledy
02-08-2011, 07:24 PM
My favorite aspect of world educating my children is the flexibility of time. Today, a Tuesday, at noon we went to a picnic ballet performance in our city. The audience was populated mostly by people on their work lunch break or retirees. Since my kids were the few school age children there, they were invited on stage to dance with the ballet company to Menomenah. It was fantastic. I did these things when my kids were still in school, but to a much more limited extent. I even got a notice one March that said if my children missed another two days of school, I would be required to have a written doctor's excuse that could be verified or I would be contacted by a truancy counselor. I never once told the school my kids were sick when we had fun days. It was probably a form letter. If you opt to home school, you will find the world more accomodating in many ways. You can go to the museums on Monday mornings--no school field trips or harried over tired children in the evening--so staff are abudant and have the time to teach without policing hordes of people. You can take your kids to the cheaper Wednesday performance at the oepra, symphony, coffee house rock band, theater, movie plex or whatever and not worry about ruining their academic studies the next day. You can go on road trips and not rush home by Sunday afternoon to get all the laundry done. You can volunteer in the community with your children knowing that you are giving your children the best education because it is knowledge tempered with compassion. Somehow your kids will turn this into wisdom. You will rediscover the wonder of what it is like to see the world through a child's eyes.

bcnlvr
02-08-2011, 08:12 PM
Looking back to a year ago is like looking back a decade. So much has changed since then. I felt, at the time, that I was FORCED to homeschool my DS9. I couldn't afford the private school and I couldn't leave him where he was. "Oh, I could NEVER homeschool." was something I used to say! So I went into it with my teeth gritted.

I was only going to hs until DS9 was "over the hump"....so that he was old enough to go to the charter middle school across town that could "meet his needs". Well, hsing started and I met other families in the same boat as me. Even ahead of me. They were saying "yeah, we did that, but that school didn't work, either."

At first I was deflated, but as time passed I have seen changes in my son that have changed me as a person. I will never send him to school again. And I am bringing my DS6 home, too. If not next week, then in June. I didn't realize what drones we had become until we were free of it all.

This forum has been so supportive. I relate to a little bit of everyone's sharing. It's amazing!

Ok, now I'm verklempt. Talk amongst yahselves.

Bacon

Stuart
02-14-2011, 08:49 PM
Hi,

My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea.

School parents in the UK are required to ask permission to take their kids out for holidays and similar, and kids can be kept in detention for incorrect behaviour without the approval of a parent. Children have to ask permission to use the toilet. These things, although not the reason we opt out, are things I am glad we don't have to live with.

There are other things you opt out of by home educating/homeschooling besides academic education. Some of this is a good to opt out of, such as mainstream culture (sugar and sweets, herd like pop music followings, tv culture/addiction, general bad behaviour) that rubs off from the kids there.

The state controlling the family for the ultimate benefit of the economy is, imo, something well worth avoiding if you can, and especially if you are already happy, and your child is learning efficiently.


I think it's hard to form serious friendships with kids you only see once a week.

I think you may well be right there, but
a) relationships can be non-local and/or partly online now
b) personally I'm not convinced of the brilliance of kids hanging out in groups
c) serious relationships can be undesirable sometimes, and can form in a short time anyway.

It's got to be said, I have seen bad habits rub off from one home educated child to another as well, but they aren't subjected to that same dictatorial system the schoolkids are, and don't form their friendships under that cloud.

SueEllen Grieves-Curl
02-24-2011, 12:03 PM
You are right once you put your child in school you are being controlled by their schedule and their teachings.

my2monkeys
02-24-2011, 05:47 PM
Hi,
I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and I wanted to get some of your opinions. My son is five and will start kindergarten next year. Right now we have him in a private preschool/elementary school and we could either keep him in that school next year or put him in public school. The private school is pretty good but expensive and our local public school is rated as the top in the state according to the testing. Testing aside, everyone I know whose children go there seems to like it and say it's a good school.

Really, I think my son would get a pretty good education at either of these schools. However, the closer it gets to making some sort of decision the more I want to keep him with me and homeschool...at least for a year or two. I am a former public school teacher and now part time college instructor. I've started him on a sort of afterschooling program to see if I can do it and we like it, and so far we both seem to be doing well. My son is learning much more than he has been at school, and I find it fun to teach him.

My real issue seems to be that I feel like once he starts going to serious SCHOOL we will be at the mercy of this system that dictates what and we we do things as a family. I really hate the idea. I never wanted to have the typical boxed in life that I see many people have, and that we have fallen into as well since having a child. But I don't know if that's a good enough reason not to put my son in school. That's my issue. Not his. He says he wants to stay home with me, and I believe it. But he's also perfectly happy in his school and does fine. He is an only child and art, gym, swimming classes aside...I think it's hard to form serious friendships with kids you only see once a week.

I was following the thread about why people homeschool and I just wondered if anyone felt this way. Usually it seems like people secular homeschool because they don't think the schools are doing a good job or because they don't like the values or because their children have special needs. But what about when it isn't any of those things? It's just that you don't want to have your family fall into the neat little cog that most people's families seem to?

If you've read this far...thanks. :)

sarahjoy - this is my exact situation! I am also trying to figure out if homeschooling strictly because I want to and don't want to be stuck to a school is adequate reason when my oldest goes to a great school and does enjoy it. As someone here already told me, my decision won't be written in stone so I can change my mind, but I'm still having trouble with the decision. Wondering if you've come any further in your decisions.